Facebook has, for better or worse, become a pretty major part of most people’s lives. I interact with the cold, lifeless blue-and-white layout of this web site about fifty times more than I interact with my own best friends.

So I guess the point is that I can interact with my friends all day long, even when not in physical contact, just like the Jetsons and Star Trek told me I’d be able to one day. But wait, why the hell would anybody want that? If you told me ten years ago I would have a device in my pocket that would allow me to see every waking thought and movement of everyone I’ve ever met, I wouldn’t only not believe you, but I would also seriously question the sanity of anybody who would want such a thing. But yet here we are in 2011, and we are so defensive of our beloved that any time one 100px x 100px box is added to the page, people rally, pitchforks and torches at the ready, to march to Facebook corporate and demand Mark Zuckerberg’s head on a silver platter.

Another one of these changes happened about 24 hours ago, and about 4 out of every 5 status updates for a solid six hours were people complaining about the changes. Can we all just take a moment to remember that this is a TOTALLY FREE service at our disposal, that no one in the world is forced to use?


KILL!!!!!!!

Facebook, as well as Twitter, Google+, whatever your social media of choice may be, are WEB SITES. They are not water. They are not shelter. They are not constitutional, inalienable rights. If you want to stop using them, you certainly may, but you do not need to clutter up everyone’s (oh-so-horribly redesigned!) news feed with your idle threats to the Facebook gods. I won’t even mention the palpable irony in complaining about Facebook ON Facebook, because I’m sure it’s not lost on anybody.

Look, I get it. Change is scary. I’m probably the most stagnant person you’ll ever meet. The status-quo works, and there’s no need to disrupt that. But that doesn’t really work for a huge company like Facebook. If nothing ever changed until it was too late, don’t you think Facebook would have a little bit of a harder time staying at the top of the mountain? Whatever happened to Friendster? Or MySpace? Not to mention that the new changes are fairly minimal, and are actually pretty nice. The Twitterish feed in the top right gets a little redundant, but you can always, oh, I don’t know, not look at it. It’s not like that space was being used for anything useful before anyway.

Then again, all of this happened over 24 hours ago, which on the Internet, may as well be decades. I haven’t seen one complaint about Facebook on Facebook today. Information moves at such breakneck speed now that I get genuinely annoyed when I see people quoting memes I’ve already seen. If Rebecca Black’s Friday came out on a Friday, I was sick to death of it by Saturday morning. This rant itself is already trite and outdated. So, until next time, be sure to like us on Facebook!

If you can bear the mere sight of it, anyway.