Now we’re getting to the good stuff. Unlike those filthy paupers that need to rely on those pathetically economic lists that came before, you are financially well endowed. You’re not even going to check the bank accounts before picking up whatever overpriced gems we present today and hey, good on ya.
Let’s take a look at what nerdgasm-inducing treasure await your trust-fund babies.
Star Wars: The Complete Saga Blu Ray: $89.99
Let’s get one thing straight before we proceed. I am well disenchanted with the Star Wars series. I think that I may actually hate George Lucas for the exploitation of his fans who are willing to re-purchase the poorer version of their favorite movies at increasing prices. I have vowed to myself that I will never again pay for these movies in any form.
Enter the holiday loophole.
If you have a friend like me then let it be known that they are just waiting for someone to buy this blu ray collection for them. Of course we want to watch Luke confront Vader in crisp 1080p, but we are being held back by our geeky moral fiber. Hell, just thinking about the high resolution light saber duels from the prequels has me hovering over the “buy it now button”.
The complete saga can be picked up for $89.99 on Amazon and while that isn’t exactly the best deal in the world (considering all you’re really getting is Episode V and then a bunch of shit) it is a staple that belongs in every true geek’s library.
Do you know what you’re looking at right there? You’re looking at a fucking sleeping bag you can wear.
Selkbagusa.com offers three different varieties of mobile bedding that you can don for any occasion. Are you going to look like a psychopath at the supermarket in a bright pink sleeping suit? Damned right you are, but at least you’ll be warm. The lite version claims to be perfect for indoor use (take that, oil company!) and is perfect for antisocial shut ins like myself.
You can find the Selk’bag lite either on their aforementioned website or by checking out Mountaingear.com. It barely slides into the price range at $99.99 but can you really put a price on endless warmth?
iCADE – iPad Arcade Cabinet: $89.99
Need something to spice up your iPad with? Look no further than the iCADE iPad Arcade Cabinet. This thing is actual pretty cool; it uses Bluetooth to connect to the iPad, so all you need to do is slide it in the cabinet (that’s what she said?). It feels and looks just like a retro arcade cabinet, albeit in iPadian proportions.
That’s all well and good, but it would be pretty useless without games that support this device, wouldn’t it? Enter Atari. Atari has created an app specifically for the iCADE with one fucking hundred old-school video games for just $14.99. You can play all your 1970s and 80s favorites on this thing. Even better? A multitude of iOS developers have decided to support the peripheral, increasing its longevity tenfold. You can pick this up on Amazon for $89.99.
Tauntaun Sleeping Bag: $99.99
Want to recreate one of the most morbid scenes from The Empire Strikes Back? Then nestle into your very own Tauntaun sleeping bag. Han Solo gagging as he remarks on the irrefutable stink of the bipedal reptomammal’s skewered innards not included. ($99.99, Thinkgeek)
Creepy Archives Vol. 1, Eerie Archives Vol. 1 and Vampirella Archives Vol. 1
Okay, this one may be kind of a cheat, but you simply cannot buy Creepy without getting its companion volumes, Eerie and Vampirella.
In the 60s, the horror anthology comic book had been effectively killed by the Comics Code Authority and Helen Lovejoys everywhere. Warren Publishing, however, decided “fuck them” and made a concerted effort to reanimate the dead medium with an infusion of the best talent in the comics industry. Cover art by guys like Frank Frazetta and interior art by masters including Alex Toth and Berni Wrightson… there was just no beating this title. And thanks to its magazine format and “fuck the Comics Code” attitude, this book was able to get away with things no other comic at the time could dream of.
Creepy soon spun-off two “family” books, Eerie and Vampirella, both of which produced top flight anthology horror comics equal to what its parent publication had been making. But to read Creepy without Eerie or Vampirella would be like reading Tales from the Crypt without Vault of Horror and Haunt of Fear; you just don’t do that.
One volume of Dark Horse’s award winning archival series is enough to act as a gateway drug, and you’ll be plunking down $50 at retail or $30+ on Amazon over and over and over again until you get kicked out of your apartment and are forced to build a fort out of your copies of these hardcover beauties so you don’t freeze to death. They’re that addictive.
Each volume faithfully reproduces the content of the original magazines, right down to the often-omitted text stories and even more often-omitted letters pages and crazy mail order advertisements. You’ve also got heavy duty bonus features ranging from interviews with the original creators to introductions by contemporary comic book icons such as Gail Simone.
Incidentally, Vampirella Archives is published by Dynamite rather than Dark Horse due to legal issues with the title character, but be not dismayed, as the production of Dynamite’s archives are identical to Dark Horse’s.
Though Gemstone may have let us all down by cancelling their Archive collections of EC’s anthology horror titles, Dark Horse and Dynamite have been filling the void with these thoroughly kickass and damn addictive volumes. They’re like a Lays potato chip; you can’t stop at just one. You can pick up Volume 1 of Creepy Archives, Eerie Archives, and Vampirella Archives each for $31.49.
Jedi Bath Robe: $89.99
Why this plush robe is so expensive is beyond me, aside from the fact that it is TOTALLY badass. I’d never get dressed! I’d just wander around, naked except for my Jedi Robe, waiting for a reason to wield my light saber and restore balance to the force.
Looking past the fact that I mentioned “naked” and “wielding light sabers” in the same sentence, this gift is practical and thoughtful, and perfect for any Star Wars fanboys. I happen to be married to one, I should know.
Inglorious Basterds 2 Disc Collector’s Edition + Soundtrack: $84.99
For that friend of yours who celebrates eight crazy nights of gift giving instead of one, I offer this: my favorite Tarantino film. I am a devout fan – but this, his most recent offering, is a cinematic masterpiece. Treading a fine line between heartfelt story-telling, and in your face action, what isn’t there to love about this film? Blood, violence, intrigue, and Eli Roth’s hysterical portrayal of a Boston Jew enlisted in the Basterds. You gotta heard of the Bear Jew.
This 2 Disc Collector’s edition boasts additional footage and commentary, as well as including the film’s impressive soundtrack.
Best gift ever? That’s-a-BINGO!