Imagining the internet as a representation of the human mind, we could establish that websites like Facebook are probably the ego and that websites like 4chan are most likely the id. What’s more interesting, though, is if we imagine that the internet is a representation of a batshit insane mind. Actually, that would explain quite a bit about the internet.
It has been said before that the internet as a whole is 83.5% porn; personally, I feel like that is a pretty decent representation of the average human mind. What isn’t so easily explainable, however, is the amount of disturbing and uncomfortable imagery that the web unleashes upon our eyes on a daily basis. One thing’s for sure, if the internet is an example of humanity’s brain than we are all pretty fucked up. Click any of the images to make them full size. If you dare.
6 – Human Kirby
The best part of this piece is how ridiculously fat human Kirby is shown to be. Seriously though, how difficult is it to draw Kirby? It’s a fucking geometrical circle with a smiley face. It’s harder to draw a cartoonish version of my testicles with a Crayola. We have to give credit to this “artist” for this creative endeavor. If I could have had a microphone taped to the wall in this artist’s studio I would imagine it to sound something like this:
Kirby artist: “Pink ball with eyes and a mouth, you say? Fuck that noise. The fat, pink and bald man look is much truer to the aesthetic soul of Kirby.”
Random bystander: “Uh, yeah sure. Whatever. Wait, is that a fucking penguin?”
Kirby artist: “What, you think the penguin doesn’t make sense? Fuck you, buddy.”
#5 – Sonic the Uncomfortable Hedgehog
Once in a while a picture on the internet comes along that is so godamn uncomfortable it makes you wish that you were born in a generation before the advent of computers. This here is one of those pictures. Apparently Sonic the Hedgehog, a character that most of us grew up with, has decided to take an extra liking to his sidekick – who is most notably an underage boy-fox hybrid – Tails. I guess Sonic needs some sort of stress relief after his last dozen or so games have been unfit for even homeless schizophrenic retards to play.
All I’m saying is that if any alien civilization happens to see this shit we’d better appreciate our existence while it lasts.
#4 – Pregnant Dawn
I am so sorry for this. No really, I wish I didn’t have to show you this horrible image. If you were a young child I’m sure this would be traumatizing enough to send you over the edge to Jeffrey Dahmer-land.
On the bright side, this could also function as a decent psych test. Do you find yourself turned on by this image? If so, congratulations! You are a sociopathic pedophile!
#3 – Sexy Pony
It’s bad enough when a group of 16 and older males decide that your children’s TV show amuses them so much that they are willing to spend actual increments of their life posting “ironic” videos and pictures of it to the internet. What’s worse is when they decide to draw anthropomorphic sexually suggestive pictures of said children’s characters to the internet. Bronies are one thing. But unlike the Pregnant Dawn picture above, this artist is actually attempting to destroy the childhood of kids who haven’t grown old enough to destroy it for themselves. Bravo, humanity. Brav-fucking-o.
#2 – Freudian Peach
If Freud was still alive this would give him a heart attack. There is so much shit in this picture that encourages the idea Peach in a very motherly role in this image; notice the baby sized Mario next to a powerful, bare chested and feminine Peach. The “1-up” panties definitely refer to the act of sexual intercourse, and well, I’m feeling pretty dirty right now.'p>
*Ahem* I think it’s time for the last, and arguably the worst, abomination…
#1 – Minnie Mouse
Oh come on.
I’m going to go take a fucking shower.
*The names have been changed to protect the individual artists from social ostracism and/or probable execution by firing squad.