Mario is a staple of gaming; an altruistic, plucky, mustachioed plumber more beloved and universally recognized at this point than Mickey Mouse. Surely no one would take the time to besmirch his beloved image with the equivalent of visual sleaze, right? Welcome to the Internet. Please, follow me:


Peach in a Diaper


by butterMYbiscuits12

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who merely have diaper fetishes, and the people who want to attribute these diaper fetishes to fictitious, fungal-based royalty. Although, is the 1-Up mushroom some kind of profound emblem for the gift of life? In that Peach’s nether regions are the only things capable of the gift of life and symbolic of the crux of all existence? Only butterMYbiscuits12 knows the true answer.


Female Bowser


by vaginaw4rrior

If an iconic turtle-dinosaur is drawn as a sexy reptilian stripper and no one is around to see it, is it still disturbing? I remember being asked that very same question in philosophy class. Well, okay, it wasn’t really philosophy class; it was actually the scary voice in my head who I named “Philosophy Class”. Still, he may not have been “real” but, hot damn, did he have some really great ideas.

Also, do reptiles even need massive breasts like that? (Or bob-ombs, as the picture would suggest.) What would be the purpose? It’s not like any reptile ever has been nursed by the milk-secreting organ of female mammals for survival’s sake, so I guess those voluminous mounds are just purely ornamental. And fantastic. Uh, sorry… did I really type that instead of just think it?


Pregnant Birdo


by Miscarriage Mayhem

This is the obligatory horribly-pregnant-fan-art-that-no-one-wants-to-see entry for this month. Notice the luscious curves of this impregnated Mario character and try not to think about the fact that Birdo was originally supposed to be male. Yes, stare at him intently and do your best not to fall to your knees and weep with the tears of every Native American Chief that ever existed.


Anime Schoolgirl Mario


by tampaxDildos997

It’s well known that major brain trauma can cause a normal human mind to get its wires crossed and start acting really, really funky. In tampaxDildos997′s case, he has probably suffered from more than, I don’t know, let’s just say a dozen strokes; this would explain the strange mixture of primary sexual characteristics seen in this image.

It’s sad really: to him he probably sees this as just an ordinary depiction of Mario. To us, on the other hand, we see only horror in the truest sense of the word.

Ha, just kidding! Yeah, as unbelievable as this might be, the artist who drew this probably doesn’t have any real reason for being as creepy as he is. He just thinks that this image is sexually appealing.

Want to sport some Mario artwork you can actually be comfortable with? Check out Bowser’s worst nightmare, A Plumber’s Fire from J!NX, Video Games and Geek Culture t-shirts.

About The Author

Apollyon

Apollyon was released from the depths of oblivion back in 1990 and has been playing games ever since. He subsides on a potent mixture of alcohol, nicotine, and trail mix, which his body has become accustomed to metabolizing over the years. Besides running horrible experiments on himself, he likes to write on his blog (and soon to be full site) Geared to Game.

  • http://www.facebook.com/SpookySeanT Sean Thompson

    What can I even say? 

    I guess the first question is, did you just google, sexy mario fan art? How exactly did you go through the motions of finding these?
    And is this a series of posts, because if it is, I’m going to k-hole these so hard.
    And what I mean is I will read a lot of them. That sounded waaaaay more sexual than it should when talking about weird anime, cartoon, furry fan art.

    • Apollyon

      I’m glad you enjoyed the article.

      Beleive it or not I didn’t “just google” these pictures. The process is actually a little more involved then that.

      I really don’t want to give up my trade secrets, so suffice it to say that it typically involves finding these people in the darkest parts of the internet and then watching them – like a private investigator, just more disgusting.

      • http://www.facebook.com/SpookySeanT Sean Thompson

        Bravo, you sick monkey.

  • Pingback: The Most Uncomfortable Pieces Of Pokemon Fan Art (That Are S

  • thehousesparrow

    Hey, incorrect sourcing on the Mario picture. The real source is here: http://iiama.deviantart.com/art/Magical-Stomper-Sweety-Mario-REDUX-291219012

    • Apollyon

      Wait, you thought that those were supposed to be their real names? Oh boy.

  • Jeffrey B. Mercer

    As a furry, I can assure you that you have only scratched the surface of ‘uncomfortable’ fan art… Seriously though, a lot of it is in really bad taste, at least the female bowser was decently done.

    • MongoMcMichaels

      Bob-Omb brassieres make everything better.