Look, I don’t really think I need to tell anyone that sometimes you can take a joke a little bit too far—I’ve been doing it for a very, very long time.

The world of cosplay, otherwise known as the “Slightly-Cooler-LARPers,” has a lot of people that fall into this category; people that were struck with an idea they thought would be amusing or interesting and who, over the course of a few weeks, turned that idea into a horrifying, papier-mâché reality.

There’s a fine line, however, between showing a scintilla of pride for your favorite League of Legends Champion… and completely eschewing all senses of dignity, pride, and self worth. But that sure makes for a fun article though, don’t it? For example:

5. Annie

What it’s supposed to look like:

The cosplay interpretation:

Apollyon: No one can deny the enormity of a man’s balls who will wear a purple and pink ensemble in front of people who have functioning eyeballs just for the sake of showing their love for League of Legends. Unfortunately, there’s a difference between dressing as Annie for a few laughs… and being a damn creep about it. There’s just something unnerving about this guy that screams, “I used to try on mom’s undergarments while she was away at work… and I fucking loved it.”

How it should have been done:

Brendan: Leave it to the damned Japanese to take an innocent little pyromaniac girl and make her totally bangin’. Are these ladies depicted above of age? Can I refer to them as “bangin'”? Whatever, I did it. It’s done.

4. Gentleman Cho’Gath

What it’s supposed to look like:

The cosplay interpretation:

Apollyon: A gentleman is defined as:

1. a man regarded as having qualities of refinement associated with a good family
2. a man who is cultured, courteous, and well-educated

None of which are evinced by this lethargic individual, who looks like a rubber nipple’s squirt of milk and a blanky’s length away from mid-afternoon nap time. For Lovecraft’s sake man, at least have the good sense to gaze into the camera with a small shred of dignity and self-assuredness.

Brendan: The cosplayer seemed to discover this at the last moment when he decided, no doubt scrambling through his father’s closet, that wearing a suit with a top hat would make his costume more interesting or funny. He was wrong.

How it should have been done:

Brendan: In the world of cosplay there is only one true rule: Go big or go home. Cho’gath is one of the characters that lives or dies by this rule. These classy lads (or ladies) went all out to recreate their favorite gentleman monster and they succeeded where others have obviously failed.

3. Kog’Maw

What it’s supposed to look like:

Butterfly Kog’Maw

The cosplay interpretation:

Apollyon: Well, well. Now we come to…

Brendan: This is a cosplay of Butterfly Kog’Maw, one of the skins you can buy. Not sure why you picked this one… it’s actually pretty spot on.

Apollyon: Yeah, you’re right. I just really want to know if the little guy peeking out of Kog’Maw’s… well, maw, is in fact the actor that played McLovin from Superbad, as I’m 98.2% certain it is. Because that would be fucking hilarious.

2. Fiddlesticks

What it’s supposed to look like:

The cosplay interpretation:

Apollyon: Remember when Mom used to pack your PB&J and Oodles of Noodles into those brown paper lunch bags every day? Now imagine someone saved all of those, sniffed a few twist-cap bottles of Elmer’s Glue, and then cobbled them all together like some pitiable parody of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. Yup, you’d have this asshole.

Lifelong hobos in an alleyway would turn up their noses and scoff haughtily at this dope like world renowned fashioned designers, such is his futility in costume making.

How it should have been done:

Brendan: Hey man, some people try and then some people succeed. This Fiddlesticks is downright badass. If I saw him in person I would probably wet myself as I waited for the life to be syphoned from my body.

1. Poppy

What it’s supposed to look like:

The cosplay interpretation:

Apollyon: Remember when I said the dude dressed as Annie looked like a damn creep? Sweet merciful Jesus was I ever wrong. Primarily because I hadn’t yet seen this guy. Though I suppose I have to laud him in two aspects of life: 1. He has done what most of us only dream – to wear pink and white overalls and lick a giant paper lollipop. And 2. He actually makes Oompa-Loompas look less frightening in comparison.

How it should have been done:

Brendan: Hey, at least we’re actually a lady in this one (right?). I have to compliment this woman on her incredibly impressive and large… pig tails.

Well, that was uh… interesting. We think a better option to show off your zealous League of Legends passion might be just heading to Jinx.com, and checking out their nice collection of League of Legends t-shirts and other swag.

  • Cassio

    Your article is terrible and you should feel terrible. Please feel free to show us even one cosplay that you’ve made yourself.

    • D.A.

      I agree.
      Have you ever thought the variable of funds/time needed to make a costume?

      • Apollyon

        I honestly haven’t cared enough to consider that. Thank you for communicating your concerns — I assure you that they are noted (probably).

  • The Gentleman Cho’Gath photo is taken out of context. I am a woman who has done cosplay makeup tutorials on YouTube for over 20 game characters http://www.youtube.com/user/MakeupDisguises. My new Cho’Gath can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tG8jG6s5pSE&feature=plcp.He still needs improvement but I tried to keep the makeup budget under $12. My channel isn’t about creating a cosplay in its entirety. It is dedicated to recreating the faces of some of the champions for fun. I have tackled Urgot, Kog’Maw, and Karthus because I like the challenge. I am not a male and I don’t have access to professional prosthetic materials. I just do my best with what I have – mostly things that can be bought at a drug store. Thanks for the free press I guess but I would appreciate if you had taken the time to dig a little deeper.

    • Hey Lauren, it’s Russ; co-founder and editor of this site. I’ve watched over some of your videos — particularly the Gentleman Cho’Gath one mentioned in this article and have this to say:

      On such a a meager budget, ya did a fine job. You are like an adroit, MacGyver of League of Legends cosplaying assembly — sans lightly gelled mullet.

      I have ordered the writers who unjustifiably dogged on you to recreate a costume of their choice taken from your YouTube collection, stand in the corner of their bathroom on one leg, and be subjected to a fire hose on full blast for a minute and 30 seconds straight.

      Not really, but we’ll change that section with you in it to better demonstrate the truth of the matter. Thanks for writing in and if we ever see you at a convention we’ll let you make fun of our genders, throw battery acid in our faces, and then point and laugh at us as recompense.

      • Apollyon

        Oh no! We have offended a professional cosplayer. How could we possibly defend such intolerant bigotry of such a fine career path?

        • BadSouthernComedian

          Boy, you gots a purdy mouf. I seens it. Thing make a dang ol’ big-mouthed bass in the dang nab Shenandoah River look like it got little gumflaps like a prissy little ten year old lil’ girl! KEE YAWWW.

  • Greenman

    Homophobic much?

    • Rheain

      Waitwaitwait, how the hell is this homophobic? Transphobic maybe, but I can’t see a trace of homophobia here? Or maybe I am bad at reading, I don’t know.

    • Um.. how is this homophobic? Cross-dressing doesn’t make a guy gay..

      • Crossbreed with a fluffy tail

        the person who wrote that it’s homophobic is a tumblrina. there are guys that pull of female crossplay fine, that guy ain’t one of them. obviously if you look nothing like the character and/OR can’t put actual effort into the costume, people will rip on it.

        did he deserve it? no. are people who call shredding on it ‘homophobic’ just stupid trolls? mmyess.

  • Andrew Bennett

    You call a guy creepy for crossdressing and then immediately proceed to sexualize a little girl. You should be ashamed.

  • Smitz

    Fire this guy!