Welcome to Adventures in Poor Taste’s weekly comic book preview, wherein we speculate about upcoming occurrences in the world of superheroes and villains, and most importantly — judge every book by its cover. Because screw childhood proverbs, that’s why.
Comic Book Preview: 9/5/12
02 Sep, 2012
Dave: What isn’t there to love here. The setup of Little Red Riding Hood being attacked by the Big Bad Wolf, the beautiful titles wrapping around our heroine and the coloring gives it the feel as if it came from an old book. There’s history here and I want to learn it’s message. Or read the book. Either way.
Brendan: I suppose the Wolfman is necessary, but I wish he wasn’t there. A damsel can be just as distressed without an imminent danger. Outside of that gripe the cover is gorgeous. The artistic logo design is awesome and our lovely lady is perfect.
Brendan’s Cover of the Week
Brendan: Know what’s a hard thing to accomplish? Creating something that is both sexy and disturbing. Mr. Hughes has succeeded in a way that few have before. On the one hand, we have our lady drenched in blood with a revolver on her hand. On the other, that pose she is striking makes me think “give me a couple of washcloths and we can probably work this out.” In all seriousness though, I love the dark earthy colors that have been used to accentuate the splatters of red blood. The woman’s figure is both sensual and foreboding (like a lioness about to pounce) and the gritty noir feel really resonates.
Dave: Judging by the bloody hands I’m going to assume she’s some kind of vampire, although her face does look like she was punched in the nose. Very creepy image with a seductive pose. Very well done.
Dave’s Honorable Mentions
Dave: Dude, what is wrong with your eyes! Not just the eyes, the whole eye socket area!? Barf I say. The mist/steam takes this monster and plops him into every science lab or underground testing area and those green pins for eyes really make this science experiment sing.
Brendan: I really enjoy the creep-factor here. The eye-socket gap on the left side of his face is super creepy. The cold blues and greys make this cover straight-up chilling.
Creator Owned Heroes #4
Dave: Why this cover is good is not because she’s some kind of superhero with animal powers, but a super strong lab built clone assassin. She’s at the human peak of physicality. So I see this cover and see a badass assassin with the strength of the strongest animals on Earth. Plus the tiger eye melding with her face is pretty cool looking. Also, notice the drip of paint at the bottom left of her leg. She really is blending in.
Brendan: I love the colors used on this one and the way right side blends with the animals depicting her specific strengths is very cool. This is another piece that could be put up on your wall without a second thought.
Brendan’s Honorable Mentions
Brendan: I had high praises for the cover of Harvest #1, but I had no idea that it was going to be part of a panoramic collection. Issue two quadruples the creepy with the addition of blood splatters, poorly inserted medical equipment and our Betty Paigesque nurse with her mouth sewn shut. That kid’s eye still gets to me, but I have to say that with everything else going on, he’s the least disturbing part. I can’t wait to see what’s to come.
Dave: I simply loved the first issue, which I reviewed here. I also didn’t suspect this was going to become a Halloween horror show. Very cool composition, especially that guy’s plucky little octopus tattoo!
Cape 1969 #3
Brendan: I just love this cover. The swirling fire vortex gives off this great sense of transition and the shattered bones present a sense of impending doom. Despite this, our hero is ready to get the job done with a stoic “just another day” expression.
Dave: Finally we get to the super powers in this Vietnam tale. The skulls and fire swirling really show our character is moving at insane speeds. Very nice, and creeptastic, idea.
Grimm Fairy Tales #77
Brendan: Yay references! I enjoy this cover for two reasons. One, the “hero walking away from their discarded costume” motif is one of the few classics that I don’t get sick of, for some reason. Secondly, this is probably the least sexy Grimm Fairy Tales cover in the history of the title and I think they deserve some credit for that.
Dave: I agree with Brendan, but I’d also like to point out the sweet reflection in the waxed floor. Nice touch.
Army of Darkness #5
Brendan: I just think this cover is fun. One must never forget is that for every part scary or badass that is tossed into the AOD recipe there must be at least two parts goofy or fun. Ash fighting ninjas is ridiculous in its own right, but they extrapolate this concept by placing The Guy with the Gun in the role of a zen bushido warrior. It’s not exactly the first description of Ashley that comes to mind.
Dave: If Ash doesn’t refer to a ninja just once as “Mister Fancypants,” I’m going to be disappointed.
Dark Avengers # 180
Brendan: I like this cover because it shows everything a normal Thor cover can’t. Robo-Thor wrecking house with grand satisfaction. I enjoy the violent red lighting and the evil glow in Ragnarok’s eyes. The explosion background seems a little generic but I can forgive that.
Dave: I’m not sold on this cover, largely because of the background, but also the inking. Not to my liking as it makes them pop out unnecessarily.
Where we don’t understand, are insulted by or would rather stab our eyes with acid pops than look at these covers for various reasons.
Grimm Fairy Tales Bad Girls #2
Dave: Everybody loves cheesecake covers but this one is damn near pornographic. That flap of cloth on the right can’t even cover the whole ass crack. Why don’t we get rid of the flaps already and just show them naked? I mean that honestly. I think I’d like them better.
Brendan: This cover is definitely pushing the boundaries, but then again that’s why it exists. If we ignore the gigantic buttocks that are all up in our grill, we get a generic bitty cover with some green smoke and a gradient background. This image barely deserves to be a decal on some low-rider.
True Blood ongoing #4
Brendan: I’ve always wondered, are these comics drawn on the inside? Or are they also photoshopped images of the cast members from television stills? Does the publisher fear that if the characters were drawn on the cover they would be unrecognizable? I’m not sure if this is a marketing ploy or just laziness.
Dave: I tend to get the impression they use the actual images of the actors to give people the impression it’s a magazine or a genuine interpretation of the characters. If they were drawn it wouldn’t be as recognizable or genuine. At least that’s what I tell myself. Maybe they just love paying graphic designers to photoshop the actors rather than pay an artist.
Dave: If you visit your local aquarium you’re going to notice a major difference between fish and humans (aside from the scales, size, shape…). That’s right, fish don’t have butts. Mermaids are half human half fish…but they certainly don’t have or need a tuckus when they have a flipper. Maybe it’s just me but that ass is creeping me out. It don’t belong!
Brendan: I mean, T&A is kinda J.Scott Campbell’s thing, y’know? Can’t fault him for it. Is it weird that the weirdest part about this cover for me is the excessively long handbag? It would be riding down at her damned ankles! Now THAT doesn’t make any sense.
Green Lantern #0 and the rest of these #0 travesties
Dave: Sure it’s a marketing stunt, but can we really blame the covers? Yes…yes we can. This is an across the DCU cover for all the #0 issues. First off, it’s an unoriginal stunt considering we’ve seen it a thousand times since Giant Sized X-Men did it. Second, where are these heroes bursting from? Behind them is the #1 issue. It’s not like they came from that issue. Giant Sized X-Men made sense because they were a new team. Something going forward. In this case it’s backwards as we’re seeing the heroes before #1.
Brendan: Yeah, this across-the-board stunt falls flat for me as well. There really doesn’t seem to be any substance behind it. I get the feeling that this entire gimmick was created due to some need for filler and the product presented showcases that more than its heroes. Too bad.
Brendan: Man, if there is one thing that these Hawkeye covers are showing me it’s that archery is incredibly boring. I mean, I enjoy the character design and the whole “proper technique” idea but for the most part I just don’t think this is a cover that would appeal to anyone.
Dave: Personally I like the arrows, as I did with the first issue, but I have to agree with Brendan on this one. The circles pointing to and then showing the technique is a bit much. Maybe this would appeal to the protractor crowd.
Comics Being Released This Week
Via ComicList.com. Prices in USD. “AR” = Ask Retailer. Comic availability subject to change.
- BOOM! STUDIOS
- Extermination #2 (Chris Brunner 2nd Printing Variant Cover), $3.99
- Garfield #5 (Cover A Gary Barker), $3.99
- Hypernaturals #3 (Cover A Francesco Mattina), $3.99
- Planet Of The Apes Cataclysm #1 (Cover A Alex Ross), $3.99
- DC COMICS
- Action Comics #0 (Ben Oliver Regular Cover), $3.99
- Animal Man #0, $2.99
- Batwing #0, $2.99
- Before Watchmen Silk Spectre #3 (Of 4)(Amanda Conner Regular Cover), $3.99
- Detective Comics #0 (Tony S. Daniel & Richard Friend Regular Cover), $3.99
- Dial H #0, $2.99
- Earth 2 #0 (Ivan Reis & Joe Prado Regular Cover), $2.99
- Fairest #7, $2.99
- G.I. Combat #0, $3.99
- Green Arrow #0, $2.99
- Green Lantern #0 (Doug Mahnke & Christian Alamy Regular Cover), $2.99
- Night Force #7 (Of 7), $2.99
- Phantom Stranger #0 (Brent Anderson Regular Cover), $2.99
- Scooby-Doo Where Are You #25, $2.99
- Smallville Season 11 #5, $3.99
- Stormwatch #0, $2.99
- Swamp Thing #0, $2.99
- Sweet Tooth #37, $2.99
- Worlds’ Finest #0 (Kevin Maguire Regular Cover), $2.99
- DYNAMITE ENTERTAINMENT
- Army Of Darkness #5 (Tim Seeley Regular Cover), $3.99
- Boys #70 (Darick Robertson Regular Cover), $3.99
- Damsels #1 (J. Scott Campbell Regular Cover), $3.99
- Flash Gordon Zeitgeist #6 (Alex Ross Regular Cover), $3.99
- Garth Ennis’ Jennifer Blood #16 (Tim Bradstreet Regular Cover), $3.99
- Lone Ranger #9 (Francesco Francavilla Regular Cover), $3.99
- Peter Cannon Thunderbolt #1 (Alex Ross Regular Cover), $3.99
- Robert Jordan’s The Wheel Of Time The Eye Of The World #29, $3.99
- Vampirella #22 (Ale Garza Regular Cover), $3.99
- IDW PUBLISHING
- Cape 1969 #3 (Of 4)(Cover A Zach Howard), $3.99
- Classic Popeye #2 (Cover A Bud Sagendorf), $3.99
- Crow #3 (Of 5)(Cover A Kyle Hotz), $3.99
- G.I. JOE #17 (Cover RI Robert Atkins), AR
- Love And Capes What To Expect #2 (Of 6)(Cover A Thom Zahler & Sean Tiffany), $3.99
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Color Classics #4, $3.99
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Micro Series #8 (Fugitoid)(Cover A David Petersen), $3.99
- Transformers Regeneration One #83 (Cover A Andrew Wildman), $3.99
- Transformers Robots In Disguise #9 (Cover A Andrew Griffith), $3.99
- True Blood #4 (Cover A Tim Bradstreet), $3.99
- IMAGE COMICS
- Black Kiss II #2 (Of 6), $2.99
- Bloodstrike #30, $3.99
- Creator Owned Heroes #4 (Cover A Phil Noto), $3.99
- Epic Kill #5, $2.99
- Guarding The Globe #1, $2.99
- Harvest #2 (Of 5), $3.50
- Hell Yeah #5, $2.99
- Mind The Gap #4 (Cover A Rodin Esquejo & Sonia Oback), $2.99
- Near Death #11, $2.99
- Savage Dragon #181, $3.50
- Spawn #223 (Cover A Todd McFarlane), $2.99
- Thief Of Thieves #8, $2.99
- Think Tank #2 (Cover A Rahsan Ekedal & Brian Reber), $3.99
- MARVEL COMICS
- Age Of Apocalypse #7, $2.99
- Amazing Spider-Man #693, $3.99
- Avengers Academy #36, $2.99
- Big Hero 6 Brave New Heroes #1 (One Shot), $8.99
- Dark Avengers #180, $2.99
- Deadpool #60, $2.99
- Defenders #10, $3.99
- First X-Men #2 (Of 5)(Neal Adams Regular Cover), $3.99
- Hawkeye #2, $2.99
- Invincible Iron Man #524, $3.99
- Mighty Thor #19, $3.99
- Muppets #3 (Of 4), $2.99
- Punisher #15, $2.99
- Road To Oz #1 (Of 6) $3.99
- Thanos Quest #1 (One Shot), $7.99
- Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #14, $3.99
- Venom #24 (Patch Zircher Regular Cover), $2.99
- X-Factor #243, $2.99
- VALIANT ENTERTAINMENT
- Archer And Armstrong #2, $3.99
- Bloodshot #3, $3.99
- ZENESCOPE ENTERTAINMENT
- Charmed #23, $3.50
- Grimm Fairy Tales #77 (Cover A Sean Chen), $2.99
- Grimm Fairy Tales Bad Girls #2 (of 5) (Cover A – Qualano)
- Grimm Fairy Tales Myths And Legends #20 (Cover A Giuseppe Cafaro), $2.99
- Grimm Fairy Tales Presents Wonderland #2 (Cover A Anthony Spay), $2.99
- Irresistible #2 (Of 4)(Cover A Ale Garza), $3.99