Only a week or so until we all die catastrophically, according to the Mayan prophecy. So, might as well read this quick, and then go enjoy your final week on this plane of existence. So, on the off chance I die in a week, thank you Dark Horse for making some great horror comics. Same goes to you IDW, and Image, and BOOM, and all of you other publishers out there who put out quality horror graphic novels. Let us not forget those that have brought us so many hours of entertainment.
Now, I’ll stop being super cereal, and get on with the blood and scary shite!
This cover is cute. I love how the color has that faded look to it. And, since we get a little flashback of Ashley as a youngin’, we get these scenes in the same washed out hue. Juxtaposed with the brighter colors, mixed with the shadows makes for an intriguing mix.
Seeley is still drawing Ashley sexy as ever, save for one she’s a girl, because I’m not a pedobear. Then again, I don’t have the paraphilia pictophilia. It’s a good thing too, I’d imagine it’d be hard to read this in full if I did, if you glean my meaning.
And yet again, we see Saul the vampires soft spot for fish. It’s a nice little idiosyncrasy that makes the character more three dimensional. Although, why it’s fish, who knows?
Not a ton of gore. We get a few pen stabs, a throat slash, and a feeding.
You should write it down; “gurk” is a damn funny onomatopoeia.
All in all a fine issue that builds upon the mystery of the first two. Now, find out what the history is behind Ashley’s father and mother is added to the question of what Ashley is writing on the walls in blood. Good writing, nice work Emmons and Seeley, and nice coloring Carlos Badilla. See, baby steps, I’m mentioning the color dude! Not a ton in the way of gore or scares, but its a solid read. Let’s hope issue 4 has some more action! Explosive action!
To Hell You Ride #1
Anything related to Lance Henriksen has been a particular obsession of mine ever since I read his astounding autobiography, Not Bad For a Human. Look it up; Henriksen takes method acting to a whole ‘nother level. No matter what role, he always brings his all.
Joseph Maddrey helped Lance write his autobiography, and aids in the writing duties on To Hell You Ride. We see miners in a small town in Colorado in the late 19th century. Idjits done came in and desecrated Indian burial grounds. What idiots; clearly, everytime this happens, white people die. The native tribe performs a ritual with four arrows, running to land in the path of the arrows, and sacrifice themselves to become watchers. But, two of the indians are killed by miners, and the arrows never kill them. It is said the two other arrows still fly about in the sky. Anyway, cut to present day, and a member of the tribe that started the ritual so long ago finds one of the arrows. The pacing is a little slow. Hopefully things pick up by next issue. Not bad, it’s just the story taking its time to establish what’s going down.
The art by Tom Mandrake is in a realistic looking style, with a lot of sad looking Native American faces. I hate to be immature about this, but the body paint of the males of the tribe kind of makes them look like they have tits. Just sayin’. Moving along, the attention to detail, like a bird smashing into a window, or a tree getting hit by lightning, are what help speed the issue along when the story is slowing down. There is a really great panel which gives new meaning to “sucking face,” but since I’ve already thrown a bunch of money shots into this article, I’ll leave it out. I’ll let your imagination do the leg work. Color guys were Cris Peter and Mat Lopes. They were good with their whites, reds, and blues. I’m not going to bother with the letterers. Sorry guys, I only have so much time here. Let’s hope this one gets more action packed next issue. A good establishing comic though.
This is what it sounds like, when birds smash into your window at high velocity. Wasn’t that a Prince song?
Billy the Kid’s Old Time Oddities and The Orm of Loch Ness #3
Eric Powell continues this series. Powell keeps things moving fast, and there’s always humor in his writing, even when it gets super cereal. Dan Brown did the colors, but I’m assuming it isn’t the one who wrote The Da Vinci Code. They are…there, and a nice use of shadow juxtaposed with bright colored monsters. As always, Kyle Hotz draws some irky monsters. As well as the weird lobster claw/kiddie-diddler dude.
This issue is balls deep with monsters.
Gotta watch it with them there booze goggles, Billy.
And, it also earned the coveted gore panel of the week, with this right here…
GORE PANEL OF THE WEEK
Thank you Powell and friends, for bringing me some smashing action. In that last panel, quite literally. And a lobster man with creepy eyes. Thanks for that.
30 Days of Night #12
This issue seemed really rushed. Also, not a very satisfying conclusion. Fer shame, Steve Niles. Fer shame. A very open-ended…well, ending. Plenty of vampire fighting though, and the visuals are nice eye candy. Giant vampires are always cool. And it’s still got that gritty, whoops-we-spilled-dirt-into-the-pictures look about it. That’s as close to a spoiler as I get, but as is obvious by the cover, there is a giant vampire. So, thanks for that Niles, and thanks for drawing it up Chris Mitten. And let’s not forget Jay Fotos on colors. I will never be mentioning the colorists again, so enjoy it while it lasts. Hell, it’s arguable if I’ll mention the writers and artists every time. You have the Internet, you can look them up. This issue is all about the vampire fight. So, even though nothing is tied up neat in a bow, at least we get some great fightn’ panels.
Go have fun before we is all ashes, due to a prophecy from an ancient people, one which I’m not even sure of the reasoning behind. That shit is bananas.
Sean M. Thompson is a pop culture obsessive, who has many years of useless movie, television, book, cartoon, and other crap memorized, and at his disposal.
Thanks to Adventures in Poor Taste, this knowledge becomes slightly less useless.
In his spare time, he likes to write fiction, mainly in the horror genre. And on occasion, he's been known to update his blog dedicated to his love of scary things, SpookySean.com.
He also loves cats, complaining, sarcasm, and gallows humor.