Panels In Poor Taste: 3/8/13 – Crotch Shots, Brains and Dignity Lost AiPT! March 8, 2013 Comic Books, Panels in Poor Taste Welcome Panels in Poor Taste where we handpick our favorite panels from this week’s comics that are in poor taste. What do we mean by poor taste? No, we’re not talking airline food; we mean anything that’s aberrant, disgusting, or unscrupulous in the world of comic books. Check out our picks for this week: Helheim #1 Written by Cullen Bunn | Art by Joelle Jones Dave: Why does a skull man need to wear clothes at all? He’s not hiding any jingojagglies…he’s certainly not cold…blah! Russ: I suppose ribless tunic is a shade classier than assless chaps. Or maybe it’s just a comfort thing for decapitating Nordic men with robust facial hair. Risen skeleton dude must have been a golfer in his past life; great posture on that putting form. Sean: And that’s Skeleton on the birdie. Very nice putt. He really accounted for the way the wind will affect the roll of the head there. A very nice putt indeed. Superior Spider-Man #5 Written by Dan Slott | Art by Giuseppe Camuncoli Dave: Massacre feels emotion for the first time in a long time…real headway for this poor soul. Obviously the next step is to quickly blow his brains out. Sean: Spunisher. Sex #1 (Pick One) Written by Joe Casey / Art by Piotr Kowalski Dave: Intercutting graphic sex with the thoughts of your dying mother. I see this becoming a new form of pornography. Lets call it…Misery Porn! Ahahahaha I’ll be rich! Sean: If you look deep into the eyes of most pornstars, you’d see most porn is misery porn. Especially the anal. Sex #1 (Pick Two) Dave: The first rule of nerds. Don’t rush the sexual process. Second rule of nerds. Don’t rush the sexual process! Sean:That’s the same thing the latin girl that works at the Burger King drive through always asks me. Consequently, I’m there almost every night five minutes before it closes… Lot 13 #5 (Pick 1) Written by Steve Niles | Art by Glenn Fabry Dave: If that’s what a maggot looks like when it’s all growned up please allow me to barf. Sean: Ah shit, I missed another comic this week! Last week Final Night, and now this week Lot 13! Oh well, only fitting as I never reviewed the first Lot 13. Oh yeah, right, a quip. That’s the worst looking shrimp cocktail I’ve ever seen! Lot 13 #5 (Pick 2) Dave: I don’t care if an undead monster is ripping you apart. You don’t. Kick a man. In the jewels! Certainly not so hard his prostate flies up into his throat. Sean: I think that counts as rape, and assault. A + X #5 Written by Kieron Gillen | Art by Joe Bennett Dave: Dr. Doom’s “unfinished work” looks perfectly finished to me. Perfectly disgusting and frighteningly finished work indeed. Sean: Holy fuck, what would they have looked like finished?! Those look like if The Thing from John Carpenter’s The Thing bred with goat demons! They do have really nice teeth though. Age of Ultron #1 Written by Brian Michael Bendis | Art by Bryan Hitch Dave: Henchmen typically serve as fodder for the heroes to cut through to get to the supervillains. Need a token black guy to switch over to white between panels? By all means purchase henchman 2.0! Sean: “You go first.” That’s what the chick at the Burger King drive through always tells me. Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake #3 Art and Written by Natasha Allegri | Dave: Candy enemies or not, these cutesy lovable characters should never be so frighteningly brutal. Sean: La, la, la, la la la, STRIP THE FLESH FROM THEIR CANDY BODIES! Vampirella #27 Written by Brandon Jerwa | Art by Heubert Khan Michael Russ: And the award for most contrived penis joke of all time goes to… Sean: “Is it weird that I wanted this to be harder?” It’s like a transcript of my trips to that Burger King drive through. Dave: Is it weird I want my dick jokes to be a little stiffer? Russ: Careful Dave, you’re giving Brandon Jerwa a run for his money.