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Panels in Poor Taste: 3/15/13 – Shoe Lasers, God Butchers, and Dead Kid Punching Bags

Do you have a dirty mind? Have you ever wondered, “Why can’t I get a collection of the newest and shiniest comic book pictures that bamboozle, embarrass, and ultimately captivate me all in one place?”

You’re in luck: We do it for you every week. Because we’re sick, sick bastards. Just like you.

Team 7 #6

Written by Justin Jordan | Art byPascal Alixe & Jesus Merino

Dave: That is one wild meat cleaving weapon. I can’t help but wonder how she even has the energy to utter he dying words in the next panel. Maybe her organs are in her breasts?

Sean: Screaming breasts. Sounds like a feminist band.

The End Times of Bram & Ben #3

Written by James Asmus & Jim Festante | Art by Rem Broo

Dave: Love the mace attack on that dude’s head. Who ever said angels would be light with their justice?

Sean: Dude, read The Old Testament. Angels are vicious bastards.

Secret Avengers Vol 2 #2

Written by Nick Spencer / Art by Luke Ross

Dave: I’m sorry but…that blast gun in his shoe looks all the more stupid when he’s on all fours. Does he do that in the bedroom too?

Sean: Odd choice of words, for a man who just went onto all fours.

Russ: Nice try, LA Gear marketing agent. Stop trying to make an LA Lights comeback happen.

Thor: God of Thunder #6

Written by Jason Aaron | Art by Butch Guice

Dave: I’m not the most religious of people but I’m pretty sure there will be plenty of folks furious over this panel. Luckily religious nuts don’t read comics. Let’s just say… the God Butcher killing folks like this seems to suggest the big J man may have gone the say way.

Sean: Happy Easter!

Russ: Hey, yellow dude wearing a denim apron in the bottom left hand corner is getting down from his imitation crucifix! God Butcher, my ass. (That sounds bad in retrospect.)

Dejah Thoris and the Green Men of Mars #2 (Pick 1)

Written by Mark Rahner | Art by Jay Anacleto, Lui Antonio

Russ: D’aww… looks strangely similar to my Senior Prom picture.

Sean: What is she Amish? Why so modest?

Dave: At least the handler has the common courtesy to hold her hair back and her right breast up. “A saggy breast is an unhappy breast” my grandpappy used to always say.

Dejah Thoris and the Green Men of Mars #2 (Pick 2)

Russ: “But Lieutenant Dan… you ain’t got no legs. So how you keep dat ass so phat?

Dave: I’m pretty sure the tenderizing already took place with all the raping in the last issue. Just like in that deleted scene from Forest Gump. Still can’t get over what Gump did to Bubba…[shudder].

Russ: For the last time Dave, that was Forrest Hump.

Sean: “Momma always said life is like a bunch of hanging lady sex slaves for use by giant Green Men from Mars. Wait, no, that wasn’t what she said at all. You’ll have to excuse me, I am retarded, after all.”

Batman and Robin #18

Written by Peter J. Tomasi | Art by Patrick Gleason

Russ: We know you’re mad about the death of your son and all — but this mess isn’t going to clean itself up, is it Bruce? What’s that? Your nonagenarian butler will? Oh, right.

Dave: Wait…where is the blood even coming from? His knuckles just have blood splatter on them and there’s no actual cuts. Unless, Bruce filled that punching bag with Damian’s body and the blood is coming out of it. Sick way to get over the death of your son you psycho!

Sean: “Why did you have to die, Damian, you son of a b---h!”
(Continues to punch punching bag filled with rotting corpse of dead son.)


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