Welcome to a special character-focused edition of Panels In Poor Taste. First up: a comic book series called The Goon.
The Goon first appeared in 1998; written and drawn by Eric Powell, the series takes a comical and violent look at all things macabre with visual roots tied to Depression-era America and follows main protagonists Goon and Franky, self-appointed protectors of their town as they take on all manners of abhorrent creatures.
Despite its third ongoing volume reaching issue #43 late last year, the series has been on hiatus — most likely due to a recent successful Kickstarter campaign funding the creation of storyboards for a possible feature film. So what better time to scour every single issue for the most despicable panels and share them with you, our twisted readers?
Note: All art and writing by Goon creator Eric Powell. Colors by Dave Stewart or Eric/Robin Powell
Goon Vol. 1 #1
Dave: Never hit a giant in the stomach with a pointy stick. The first rule of “Goon-ing”!
Sean: If you could see Goon’s eyes, you’d know they are open wide.
Goon Vol. 2 #3
Dave: If only Will Ferrell’s film Elf was inspired by this. Just imagine how hideous and evil he’d become. No more ketchup pancakes, no, instead bring on the human hairballs!
Sean: I know that’s supposed to be a kid, but it looks like a vase covered in digestive fluids.
Goon Vol. 2 #4 (Pick 1)
Dave: Sadly this is about as sexy as the girls come in a Goon comic in all its years on the stand. Considering how loose Franky is I feel very sorry for him.
Sean: That’s usually my thoughts around the time I leave Mac’s Two Lounge.
Ain’t no damn lounge, that s--t is a strip club!
Goon Vol. 2 #4 (Pick 2)
Dave: What can be funnier than animal cruelty you might ask? Why it’s animal cruelty enacted on stupid looking animals of course!
Sean: I don’t know why, but it’s funnier that the cow is breaking the fourth wall.
Goon Vol. 2 #4 (Pick 3)
Dave: I’m not sure there’s anything more funny than an animal making noises and the characters around it understanding. Yes that’s right…I find Star Wars to be the funniest film of all time.
Sean: I love this seal, because it comes back, and apparently is always insulting them. That’s one ballsy seal.
Dethklok vs. Goon Special One Shot (Pick 1)
Dave: On the bright side he has to admit the epileptic fits probably made him better in bed.
Sean: I’ll take “Ew,” for a 1000 Alex.
Dethklok vs. Goon Special One Shot (Pick 2)
Dave: Knife to the ear…oh dear god talk about most peoples worst nightmare.
Sean: The guy in the suit’s description of what he thinks Dethklok sounds like is a pretty accurate sentiment of how I feel when those TLC shows on real estate come on. My girlfriend has to keep me from shoving a knife in my ear. Oh, you can’t take the place because of the beautiful hardwood floors, and the pool is too small, huh? Where’s that f-----g knife?!
Goon Vol. 3 #2
Dave: Peaches Valentine is one of the only recurring characters in The Goon that was a one trick joke. Thankfully that joke is hilarious.
Sean: Peaches Valentine. Simpleton. Not pornstar. Get it right.
God help us if he’s both…
Goon Vol. 3 #2 (Pick 2)
Dave: Valid advice for any child!
Sean: My parents nipped those dreams in the bud. Thanks a lot! I coulda been the next Yelawolf! Except not Southern. And I didn’t sell drugs growing up. And I don’t know Alabama slanguage.
Whatever, I could have been a spectacle, either way!
Goon Vol. 3 #3
Dave: Something to live by.
Sean: It certainly is quite satisfying. Subsequently, I’ve been banned from McLean.
Goon Vol. 3 #4 (Pick 1)
Dave: One time in France I ate a plate of mammal love…and now I’m starting to wonder which mammal it was…
Sean: Dagon: the god of scaly, underwater nooky.
Goon Vol. 3 #4 (Pick 2)
Dave: How does lube work underwater?
Sean: Valid question.
Goon Vol. 3 #6 (Pick 1)
Dave: I think we can all agree monsters need more than thousands of bosoms.
Sean: I don’t know, I think 1000 is just the right number.
Dave: Based on the language I could have sworn that was Russ…but it’s the goatee that confirms it’s not him, at least for me.
Sean: Oh damn, I was going to say, how did Russ end up in a Goon comic!
Goon Vol. 3 #6 (Pick 2)
Dave: Adapted from the book “What every nerd wishes women said to them but were afraid to
Sean: Speak for yourself, I get that all the time. I oughta, I pay Yolanda good money every Thursday night to say that.
Uh…I mean I don’t pay hookers to boost my self esteem. Every Thursday night. At the New England Motor Court.
Goon Vol. 3 #8
Dave: What gets me with these panels is the protrusion in the diaper. Ick.
Sean: I’d say all the feces is what gets me.
Goon Vol. 3 #10
Dave: I love the idea that Scrooge is a bastard because he won’t pay to have Tiny Tim thrown in a mental institution.
Sean: Goon would be the worst special needs teacher ever.
Goon Vol. 3 #13
Dave: That is the most brutal I’ve ever seen a face after being pulverized. Ever. Yuck.
Sean: I want lasagna for some reason. Hmmm.
Goon Vol. 3 #15
Dave: Part those seas Moses! Part them!
Sean: Hopefully those seas weren’t too red.
Goon Vol. 3 #17
Dave: Welcome to, in my humble opinion, the most vile of panels to ever grace a Goon comic. Note the eggs that cling to the walls grew from their mommy zombies body like some kind of swollen insect. Ick.
Sean: That hat is soooo last year.
Dave: Pretty sure Lady Gaga did that back when Lady Gaga was a thing.
We’re roughly halfway through our 56 picks! Join us in Part 2 by clicking here, where we deliver the remaining selections all the way to The Goon Vol. 3 #43!
This article pique your interest for The Goon? Start with The Goon Volume 1: Nothin but Misery (2nd edition) (Goon (Numbered)) and see where it all began.