Welcome to Comic Book Preview, where we become your Dr. Feelgoods, if only for a day or two.
Are you experiencing symptoms such as ignorance towards what comics are coming out Wednesday May 1st and what their covers look like? Then your prescription is a dose of our take on this week’s oddest covers, this week’s best covers and our rapist’s wit. Rare side effects that occur only in some people include oily spotting, loose stools and more frequent stools that may be hard to control. We… don’t have any prescription for that except to say: Please keep away.
This week, Miss Fury dumps em out, Polarity shows brawn in the brain, and Ash from Army of Darkness gets a vagina.
Where we don’t understand, are insulted by or would rather stab our eyes with acid pops than look at these covers for various reasons.
Miss Fury #2
Dave: God she must have severe back problems. When breasts look this heavy I just feel bad and get depressed. That and…what’s the deal with the tearing going on here? Isn’t that latex or leather?
Brendan: I mean, in truth, if the chest area of her outfit was so shorn wouldn’t it just fall right off? Also, what trauma would cause this specific form of “sexy damage” to her clothing? Lastly, I just want to once again argue that hooker boots are not reasonable for crime fighting.
Russ: And you two are positive this isn’t a bad Catwoman fanfic? And you’re not trying to pull a fast one on me? Alright… proceed.
Red Sonja Unchained #2
Dave: What…the fuck…is this cover? Is that a giant with enormous boobs? Why is Sonja posing like that? It’s like she got the giantess wicked drunk and decided to do some photos so when she wakes up it’ll be hilarious material for her Facebook page.
Brendan: She just killed the giant lady and is taking a deserved rest on that undoubtedly glorious meat pillow. What’s not to get?
Russ: Sonja vs. Holiath. ::rimshot::
Brendan’s Honorable Mentions:
Polarity #2 (Variant Edition)
Brendan: Talk about brain vs brawn, amirite? Honestly it’s the concept that sells me for this one. I do enjoy the dark coloring of our hero but it’s the pink flesh of the brain-fist that really grabs your attention.
Dave: Ew man just ew. I get the concept but it sends shivers down my spine. Not really digging the yellow background either. It makes the hero pop, but doesn’t really go with everything else.
I’m also really surprised by how many brain-themed covers we’re getting this week. If Polarity wasn’t enough we’re getting one from Superior Spider-Man too,
Army of Darkness #13
Brendan: Okay, let’s all be honest with each other for a moment. If Lady Ashe existed in the real world, you would be into her. Just think of all the charm, bravado and sexual tension that oozed from Bruce Campbell in AoD and then pour that right into a brunette Kate Upton. One please.
Dave: Plus she has a sick cape. The clothes are really well done in this picture which makes their tight, barely covering look all the more sexy.
Russ: “Good? Bad? I’m the gal with the gun.”
Dave’s Honorable Mentions:
Dave: Hero as stained glass, take one! What a cool idea, sticking a colorful magic based hero in front of the amazing stained glass window. I also love the white light streaking here and there.
Brendan: I’m sold on the background content. The style, coloring and lighting is gorgeous. While I don’t think it is necessarily improper, I do feel that our character does feel a bit off in this environment. I think it’s mostly just the clarity of her face that causes her to not mesh very well. It’s gorgeous, nonetheless.
Mister X: Eviction #1
Dave: Welcome to the world of Mister X and it’s a conundrum to say the least. The city is as much a character in this series as Gotham is to Batman and it’s nice to see it splayed out spelling our heroes name. Plus we get a little red dot and a little black dot of people standing…oh so mysteriously.
Brendan: I think the cityscape lettering is brilliant, although it was obscure enough that I was forced to double-take in order fully comprehend the optical illusion.
Dave’s Cover of the Week
Animal Man #20
Dave: This cover isn’t only beautiful, but it’s also telling a story, filled with little jokes. First up, look at the cinema schedule, complete with two shows of Man of Steel. I guess that flick is popular eh? I love the little girl in awe of his strength, but really its every figure that stands out. You could look at this cover for hours.
Brendan: I love the way the figures are drawn and the colors are rather otherworldly. It’s nice to see such a hopeful Animal-man cover to contrast with all of those flying deer-bat abominations from earlier in the series.
Brendan’s Cover of the Week:
X-Men Legacy #10
Brendan: I love this advert-cover for X-cise. I love the concept of a consumer-friendly explanation as if it were just another clinical drug and not a method of wiping out an entire race. The design is simple and fun, which is Del Mundo forte. I would be totally alright with hanging this cover on my wall.
Dave: Love the dude whistling with the little dog. Wouldn’t we all want to be so happy! Plus the verbiage like follicular spines and “total” planetary annihilation. I for one am totally cool with semi-planetary annihilation, but they’ve sold me on the total part!
After all the Del Mundo covers we’ve picked I have to say this guy is a real idea man. His concepts drive the art make these covers memorable.
Comics Being Released This Week
This is a cleaned up list via ComicList.com. Comic availability subject to change.
- BOOM! Studios
- Garfield #13, $3.99
- Hypernaturals #11, $3.99
- Planet Of The Apes Cataclysm #9, $3.99
- Polarity #2 (Of 4), $3.99
- Suicide Risk #1, $3.99
- Dark Horse
- 47 Ronin #4 (Of 5), $3.99
- Abe Sapien #2 (Dark And Terrible #2 Of 3), $3.50
- Michael Avon Oeming’s The Victories #1 (Of 5), $3.99
- Mister X Eviction #1 (Of 3), $3.99
- Star Wars Dark Times Fire Carrier #4 (Of 5), $2.99
- DC COMICS
- Action Comics #20, $3.99
- Ame-Comi Girls #3, $3.99
- Animal Man #20, $2.99
- Aquaman #19, $2.99
- Batwing #20, $2.99
- Detective Comics #20, $3.99
- Dial H #12, $2.99
- Earth 2 #12, $2.99
- Fairest #15, $2.99
- Green Arrow #20, $2.99
- Legends Of The Dark Knight #8, $3.99
- MAD Magazine #521, $5.99
- Movement #1, $2.99
- Phantom Stranger #8, $2.99
- Scooby-Doo Where Are You #33, $2.99
- Stormwatch #20, $2.99
- Swamp Thing #20, $2.99
- Worlds’ Finest #12, $2.99
- Colonized #2 (Of 4), $3.99
- Dungeons And Dragons Forgotten Realms Cutter #2 (Of 5), $3.99
- Joe Palooka #6 (Of 6), $3.99
- Mars Attacks #10, $3.99
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Color Classics #10, $3.99
- Transformers Spotlight Hoist #1 (One Shot), $3.99
- Image Comics
- 68 Jungle Jim #2 (Of 4), $3.99
- Activity #12, $3.50
- Artifacts #27, $3.99
- Blackacre #6, $2.99
- Epic Kill #10, $2.99
- Invincible Universe #2, $2.99
- Mice Templar IV Legend #2, $2.99
- Savage Dragon #187, $3.99
- Snapshot #4 (Of 4), $2.99
- Son Of Merlin #4, $2.99
- Spawn #231, $2.99
- Super Dinosaur #19, $2.99
- Ten Grand #1, $2.99
- MARVEL COMICS
- Age Of Ultron #7 (Of 10), $3.99
- All-New X-Men #11, $3.99
- Hawkeye #10 $2.99
- Indestructible Hulk #7, $3.99
- Iron Man #258.1 $3.99
- Iron Man #9, $3.99
- Iron Man The Coming Of The Melter, $3.99
- Red She-Hulk #65, $2.99
- Superior Spider-Man #9, $3.99
- Thanos Rising #2 (Of 5), $3.99
- Ultimate Comics X-Men #26, $3.99
- Winter Soldier #18, $2.99
- X-Factor #255, $2.99
- X-Men Legacy #10, $2.99
- Valiant Entertainment
- Harbinger Wars #2 (Of 4) $3.99
- Shadowman #0, $3.99
- Zenescope Entertainment
- Grimm Fairy Tales Presents The Jungle Book Last Of The Species #3 (Of 5), $3.99