Think we’ve grown tired of culling the most deplorable, weirdest, egregiously sexual panels from this week’s comic book releases?

Hell, you don’t know us very well, do you?


Justice League #23.2


lobo_slice
Written by Marguerite Bennett | Art by Ben Oliver

Dave: Slicing someone into pieces is the only suitable punishment for drinking red wine with green olives.

Patrick: Looks like someone got really, really good at Fruit Ninja.

Sean: Judging by his blue-green skin tone he was already dead, so no huge loss.

Russ: My name is Russ Whiting. And I approve of Lobo’s new method of liposuction.


Clone #10


clone_wheelchair_shove
Written by Aaron Ginsburg | Art by Juan Ryp

Dave: If there was a time-lapse camera to show the very next panel.

Jordan: Judging from his reaction, I don’t think he cares.

Sean: Ah, the old existential angst from falling down in a chair you’re tied to.

Russ: You can’t see it, but the monitor of his speech generating device reads, “That’s right, you better walk away — you’re lucky I don’t have the use of my lower limbs or I’d run your ass over with these monster truck tires I had hooked up to my wheelchair.”


X-Men #5


x-men_cyclops_strip_jean_creeps
Written by Brian Wood | Art by David Lopez

Dave: Once you notice she’s blushing you realize which leg she means. Am I right ladies?!

Jordan: Oh my! His back muscles are so dreamy!

Sam: Wait… if he was in that corner how did he get that t-shirt from the clothesline?

Russ: That’s not the same t-shirt, Sam. Cyclops’ lesser known secondary mutant power: He’s really good at smuggling things in his body cavities. Also, Jean’s a fucking creep.


Grimm Fairy Tales presents Zombies: The Cursed #3


zombies_smush
Written by Troy Brownfield | Art by Oscar Celistini

Dave: When you slam a zombie head into a wall, palm into teeth, aren’t you taking a risk of getting bit? The answer: Not when it’s made of mashed potatoes!

Jordan: Those zombies have the consistency of a cherry pastry.

Russ: The only villains in history more feeble than the Putties from Power Rangers. Rita Repulsa and Finster would be so proud.


The Manhattan Projects #14


manhattan_projects_spaghetti_arm
Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Nick Pitarra

Dave: Jacob just wanted a dildo arm, but after cutting off more and more he had to come to grips it’d have to be chode, or no dildo at all.

Sam: But I just wanted to look like Cable, ma! He’s my favorite!

Sean: Ladies, he is single.

Russ: Stop being so oblivious, assholes. Self-mutilation is obviously a cry for help.


Wonderland #14


wonderland_14
Written by Patrick Shand | Art by Antonio Bifulco

Dave: Even worse than zombies: hormonal teenage girls with pink eye and extreme acne breakouts.

Sean: Ah, our target demographic.


Robocop: Last Stand #2


robocop_last_stand2_ed209_dogpee
Written by Frank Miller | Art by Korkut Oztekin

Dave: Every fire hydrant dreams of one day growing up to be this machine.

Pat: That dog is a badass. “Piss on your civic statutes!”

Russ: “Riss on rour rivic ratutes!” ::Scooby Doo-esque snickering::

robocop_last_stand2_shock

Dave: “I’m a therapist…who really really hates cats!”

Jordan: We are going to cure that damn dirty mind no matter how long it takes!


Hit List #1


hitlist1_blonde_booty
Written by Ralph Tedesco | Art by Sami Kivela

Dave: Because she only has a couple meals for the whole week! ::rimshot:: I’ll be here all week.

Jordan: I think she needs to stop painting clothes on. It’s just not fooling anyone anymore.

Sean: He meant she eats his dick. I understood that reference.


Sidekick #2


sidekick2_theusurgeon
Written by J. Michael Straczynski | Art by Tom Mandrake

Dave: In the preceding panel little Billy screams, “I want one now!”

The surgeon didn’t realize just how spoiled Billy was. “I want my own eviscerated life sized dolls,” Billy squelched before his parents started wagging 100 dollar bills in Mr. The Surgeon’s face. Boy was it going to be a long night…

Jordan: Straczynski woke up one day and thought to himself, “You know, superhero comics are just not dark enough. Let me fix that.”

Sam: This looks more like a Lady Gaga concert than a murder scene.

Sean: You know you’re bad, when inanimate objects like a pipe call you a monster.


Deadpool #16


deadpool_16
Written by Gerry Duggan, Brian Posehn | Art by Declan Shalvey

Dave: Why is he “having a good time in there” exactly? Did he fart or is that some kind of growth?

Russ: Aw, look at Dave. Trying to feign ignorance to cover up his crippling dermatillomania disorder. (Look it up.)


Caption Contest Winner from 8/30/2013: DonBurgundy!


Congratulations, Don. Say “hi” to your brother Ron for us on the set of Anchorman 2, will ya?

DonBurgundy: Not pictured in the helicopter — this version of the Hulk. Masturbating.

Panels in Poor Taste Caption Contest

Each week, we provide a panel in need of a caption. You, the reader, submit your caption in the comments section below, and AiPT readers vote for their favorite. The captions with the most upvotes will win, and your panel will appear in next week’s edition of Panels in Poor Taste.

Happy captioning!


Batman and Robin #23.2


Batman & Robin 23.2 court of owls
Written by James Tynion IV | Art by Jorge Lucas

Enter your caption in the comments below!

  • PussInLoafers

    “Your mother just didn’t understand my crippling addiction to gambling, hookers, and alcohol abuse. Good girl. Now, let’s go get some ice cream. Daddy’s treat.”

  • bloodhands

    I’m glad she asked AFTER she massacred that woman. That way there’s more…blood on your hands!