Why? Why am I reading this? Because why not, that’s why. All I know about this comic is the basic premise and the writer, who I’m so-so on. Regardless of that fact, is it good?

Sex Criminals #1 (Image Comics)

Meet Susie. Susie was a very weird ability. If she has sex with someone, gets an orgasm, or masturbates (okay, I’m actually not sure about those last two; the comic wasn’t clear), time stops and I’m talking literally here, not metaphorically like how it does for others. Time just stops and she’s in limbo for a bit. The whole first issue is about her first discovering this as a little girl and up to the present. Also, she narrates all of this to us.

Let’s be frank here. The solicit states that this comic is in the same vein as The 40 Year Old Virgin and Bridesmaids. While I’m not a particular fan of either movie, they are alright and occasionally gets a laugh out of me. This comic is not like either of those movies. This comic is just flat out not funny.

Humor is subjective to be sure, but there was just not anything funny about this comic. I saw no humor or attempts at it outside of one scene (it’s the scene in the stall with the two girls), which left me confused and unsure whether or not I should be smiling in amusement. I, however, do think I know why this comic isn’t funny. It doesn’t have voiceover. Sure, someone is narrating this comic, but it feels so dry and dull. This thing needs voiceover so the narration can some emotion or tone to it, so we can tell whether or not there is any humor here. Otherwise, by itself, this comic is just uncomfortable at points (underage sex and orgasming does that to a person) and really awkward. In fact, I would describe this more in the same vein as That’s My Boy and Milk Money, which is not a good thing.

So, the comic isn’t funny at all, but what about the rest? Surely, there’s something else here? Well you would be right. The main character is well fleshed out and you do get an understanding of what she is like as a person. Dialogue is alright, but nothing really jumps out at you and like I said, the narration is kind of dry. The comic’s pacing and flow is messed up though as the comic randomly jumps all over the place to different times in the character’s life; to the point where I would say it’s pretty hard to follow.

Now it comes to artwork. It’s decent and rather nice looking, with its bright colors and decent looking characters. It does one rather clever thing when Susie meets the man of her dreams and the only possibly funny scene in the comic was because of the artist more than the writer (Though, I just don’t get Candle in the Wind. It looks extremely painful). Besides the occasional character that looks way older or younger than they are supposed to be and the fact the faucets often seem to be pouring out glue instead of water (At least, I’m hoping it’s glue), I say the art was an overall win.


  • The main character is fully developed and realized.
  • The artwork is good.
  • It’s more awkward and uncomfortable than funny.
  • The pacing and flow is rather bad at times.?
  • Narration is kind of weak.

Is It Good?

If we were to solely look at this comic in terms of the technical aspect, I would say it was decent despite some dryness and poor pacing. However, the main point of this comic is that is supposed to be funny, but it isn’t. Humor is subjective I understand, but outside of one bit, I see nothing here even close to chuckle worthy. Maybe it’ll get better next issue, because right now Sex Criminals is just not worth your time.

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