You know that kid that used to scrawl messed up doodles in his notebook all day in class and tittered to himself whenever he completed some really despicable masterpiece?
He grew up to be us. Well, not that the one kid grew up to be a half dozen or so different man-children… but, you get the point. Just look at these egregiously violent, gross, and silly comic book panels and then fill in your own caption for the Caption Contest at the bottom and forget we ever said anything, alright?
Afterlife With Archie #1
Written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa | Art by Francesco Francavilla
Dave: To open a comic with a dead dog is a feels explosion. Not cool Archie!
Russ: Look, I’m real sorry for your loss and everything, Jughead Jones — though maybe if you took that stupid ass Burger King crown off your head for a second you would have had the mental acuity to keep Hot Dog on a short leash around a busy road. Jackanape.
The Private Eye #4
Written by Brian K. Vaughan | Art by Marcos Martin
Dave: Well if you’re going to be all emotional about it let’s just not do it.
Alex: “I was referring to the complimentary mints in the lobby, sir.”
Sean: “Actually, nevermind, I’m already getting a blower. Why did you think I was sitting like this?
Written by Joe Brusha | Art by Ulises Grostieta
Dave: Oh great, more dogs dead. Thanks comics, now I’m really tearing up.
Alex: Cyborg is more of a cat person.
Sean: You should always make sure to do lots of research before hiring a new dog trainer.
Forever Evil: Arkham War #1
Written by Peter Tomasi | Art by Scot Eaton
Dave: Messing with a man’s teeth is very uncool… even if you have enough muscle to be a living knife holder.
Alex: I get the half-embedded knives but why does he have a vanilla wafer sticking out of his chest? Does he have a Snickers sticking out of his back for when he gets hungry?
Sean: “Stab him with as many frozen candy bars as possible men! He’ll be no match for these Hundred Grands, Baby Ruths, and dreaded Toblerones!”
Written and drawn by Michael Fiffe
Dave: Seriously Mr Fiffe, stop drawing doughy-looking dongs and balls in all your shots. Sheesh.
Alex: Those guys are tripping (over) some serious balls.
Sean: Why do the balls all have hashtags on them? #confusingballs
Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Jerome Opeña
Dave: He’s made of pea soup, so I guess the special effects team working on this comic also did The Exorcist?
Sean: That enchilada did not sit well.
Written by Keith Thomas | Art by David Miller
Dave: Something tells me this is the worst advice ever given to a child ever.
Russ: I hate it when moms give conflicting advice like this: Does she want him to grow up to be a “worthless piece of shit” or does she want him to have large enough testicles to properly beat a woman? Make up your mind, will ya, ma?
Dave: Where does one begin with a panel like this? Do you start with the disgusting spinal neck wound, or the gun in the butt?
Alex: I truly mourn the the loss of classic C-Level superhero “Captain Gunbutt.” He was one of the greats.
Sean: Okay, serious question here. Why is there a guy with his pants down on top of the lady with no arms? Do I really want to know?
Russ: Amputees need sweet lovin’ too, Sean. They got needs just like everybody else.
Thor: God of Thunder #14
Written by Jason Aaron | Drawn by Ron Garney
Dave: How does one pickle cave mold exactly? Do you just splash the vinegar on the walls or something?
Sam: I’m more confused by rock soup. Why would you go through the effort of grinding up a rock? If they can eat rocks, like this panel suggests, why don’t they just eat the rock whole?
Sean: Butterfly Brain Salad sounds French.
Caption Contest Winner From 9/27/2013: MyDadIsSoCool!
Congratulations to MyDadIsSoCool for winning. It’s truly heartwarming that in this day and age a man still has such earnest admiration for their father: looks like you’ve already won the greatest reward of all, huh pal?
MyDadIsSoCool: I guess we already know what R. Kelly is going to be for Halloween this year.
This Week’s Panels in Poor Taste Caption Contest
Each week, we provide a panel in need of a caption. You, the reader, submit your caption in the comments section below, and AiPT readers vote for their favorite. The captions with the most upvotes will win, and your panel will appear in next week’s edition of Panels in Poor Taste.
The Manhattan Projects #15
Written by Jonathan Hickman | Drawn by Ryan Browne
Enter your caption in the comments below!