Panels in Poor Taste: 10/18/13 – Duplicitous Suicide and Wanton Exhibitionism AiPT! October 18, 2013 Comic Books, Panels in Poor Taste Warlord of Mars: Dejah Thoris #30 Written by Robert Napton | Art by Carlos Rafael Dave: News flash guys, you’re tied to the legs of tables. There’s no way you can’t, I don’t know, lift the table to escape? Eh, who am I kidding Why aren’t you banging yet? Russ: Probably because by Mars’ standards Dejah Thoris is wearing the equivalent of a burka. She’s just dressed too damn modestly to be sending off any lustful signals! New Avengers Vol. 3 #11 Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Mike Deodato Dave: I hate it when dudes try to penetrate me. I mean, at least buy me dinner first! Amirite ladies? Jordan: Darn it, I know I left my car keys in here somewhere. Zero #2 Written by Ales Kot | Pencils by Tradd Moore Dave: The texture of those brains is Chef Boyardee yummy. Jordan: That’s one hell of a bullet. Russ: FLAT TOP, West Virginia — A local ski lodge owner is under scrutiny by Flat Top Police after what appears to have been a Craigslist meet-up between two members from the “Bear” subculture of the gay community gone horribly wrong. Invincible #106 Written by Robert Kirkman | Pencils by Ryan Ottley Dave: The truth behind Botox. The more you know! Dejah Thoris and the Green Men of Mars #7 Written by Mark Rahner | Art by Lui Antonio Dave: Oh goody, more Dejah Thoris to marvel at. And by marvel at, I mean cough uncomfortably while your girlfriend, wife, or boss looks at you like you really should stop reading these kinds of comics to preschool children. What squares they are. Russ: Well at least they modified her vest enough to fit snugly over the crater where her left tit used to be. Good guy Green Men of Mars. Patrick: Somehow that minuscule frond of see-through fabric almost sarcastically covering her genitals is even more provocative than if she were just completely naked. An unkempt bush would have been more conservative than that. Jordan: I think I’m starting to understand this comic. In this world, all royalty must wear the skimpiest of clothing. Ugh, I hate to see what the king looks like. Russ: Shyamalan twist: The woman’s name prior to the bandaging was “Stumpy McTittyCrater.” Batman and Robin (2011-) #24: Two-Face Written by Peter Tomasi | Pencils by Patrick Gleason Dave: We can only assume his bed is comfy since tossing and turning in the slightest would require that left side to get wrecked too. Patrick: “Dammit, spilled my beer. Welp, may as well just end it all.” Jordan: Er… I hate my cleaning lady! She does a half assed job all the time! I just can’t live like this anymore! Russ: Do Tomasi and Gleason have to be so subtle with the Two-Face gimmick? There might be five or six children reared in a cave in Utah that don’t understand the reference. Also, does his shit only land on the left side of the toilet too?