Warlord of Mars: Dejah Thoris #30

Written by Robert Napton | Art by Carlos Rafael

Dave: News flash guys, you’re tied to the legs of tables. There’s no way you can’t, I don’t know, lift the table to escape? Eh, who am I kidding Why aren’t you banging yet?

Russ: Probably because by Mars’ standards Dejah Thoris is wearing the equivalent of a burka. She’s just dressed too damn modestly to be sending off any lustful signals!

New Avengers Vol. 3 #11

Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Mike Deodato

Dave: I hate it when dudes try to penetrate me. I mean, at least buy me dinner first! Amirite ladies?

Jordan: Darn it, I know I left my car keys in here somewhere.

Zero #2

Written by Ales Kot | Pencils by Tradd Moore

Dave: The texture of those brains is Chef Boyardee yummy.

Jordan: That’s one hell of a bullet.

Russ: FLAT TOP, West Virginia — A local ski lodge owner is under scrutiny by Flat Top Police after what appears to have been a Craigslist meet-up between two members from the “Bear” subculture of the gay community gone horribly wrong.

Invincible #106

Written by Robert Kirkman | Pencils by Ryan Ottley

Dave: The truth behind Botox. The more you know!

Dejah Thoris and the Green Men of Mars #7

Written by Mark Rahner | Art by Lui Antonio

Dave: Oh goody, more Dejah Thoris to marvel at. And by marvel at, I mean cough uncomfortably while your girlfriend, wife, or boss looks at you like you really should stop reading these kinds of comics to preschool children. What squares they are.

Russ: Well at least they modified her vest enough to fit snugly over the crater where her left tit used to be. Good guy Green Men of Mars.

Patrick: Somehow that minuscule frond of see-through fabric almost sarcastically covering her genitals is even more provocative than if she were just completely naked. An unkempt bush would have been more conservative than that.

Jordan: I think I’m starting to understand this comic. In this world, all royalty must wear the skimpiest of clothing. Ugh, I hate to see what the king looks like.

Russ: Shyamalan twist: The woman’s name prior to the bandaging was “Stumpy McTittyCrater.”

Batman and Robin (2011-) #24: Two-Face

Written by Peter Tomasi | Pencils by Patrick Gleason

Dave: We can only assume his bed is comfy since tossing and turning in the slightest would require that left side to get wrecked too.

Patrick: “Dammit, spilled my beer. Welp, may as well just end it all.”

Jordan: Er… I hate my cleaning lady! She does a half assed job all the time! I just can’t live like this anymore!

Russ: Do Tomasi and Gleason have to be so subtle with the Two-Face gimmick? There might be five or six children reared in a cave in Utah that don’t understand the reference.

Also, does his shit only land on the left side of the toilet too?

About The Author

Adventures in Poor Taste

Founded in 2011, Adventures in Poor Taste is home to weekly comic book reviews and daily nerd musings. It's also the home for people with refined tastes; so long as those tastes include affinities for video games, comic books and children's cartoons.