Hello to everyone out there and welcome back to This Week in WWE, where I break down eight messy hours of WWE programming (mostly Raw & NXT) into a nice tidy recap. But, first, I must give apologies for not having a column for over two weeks. It was an unfortunate circumstance that couldn’t be avoided due to personal and professional obligations. Believe me, I watched the shows but I just didn’t have the time to write about them. But, now I do and away we go. Let’s start things out by talking a little about Survivor Series 2013.

Survivor Series 2013 Predictions: How’d We Do?

I’m happy to say that you can trust in AiPT for PPV predictions because we did get five match results right out of seven! Mark Henry vs. Ryback was a surprise match so it doesn’t count, but believe me when I say that we would have predicted Henry for the win, too. I don’t think anyone could have predicted Roman Reigns as sole survivor out of that elimination match, but I’m glad he won because it was a surprise and he deserves it. As far as the Divas elimination match, I got it wrong but Patrick was right on target even if he did choose the wrong Bella twin. In any case, it sounded like a good Survivor Series and I wish I could have actually seen it and not just read the results from Wikipedia.

Now, let’s move into the actual point of this column, and let’s recap some wrestling.

The Good

WWE NXT continues to be my favorite show out of the whole lineup. Maybe that’s because it’s still new to me and offers a fresher viewing experience than a Raw or SmackDown. But, more likely, I think it’s my favorite because of the exciting new talent on its roster and the atmosphere of the show. Plus, I really enjoy William Regal on commentary because he brings a lot of insider veteran knowledge to the announcing as well as some jolly good humor.

So, that being said, my absolute favorite moment of the past three weeks occurred on NXT’s 11/20/13 show. I was in stitches over the Bo Dallas homecoming celebration (this guy is comedy gold) and loved it when he was passing out cookies to the audience. This was interrupted by Sami Zayn and the first thing Bo says to Sami is asking if he came out to get himself a cookie. I tried so hard to no avail to find a video of this on YouTube, so you’ll have to settle for this image:

Speaking of Sami Zayn, I’m putting down his #1 contenders match with Adrian Neville on the 11/28/13 NXT as match of the week. These guys delivered a fast paced contest that held up alongside and even more entertaining than most Raw main events.

But, Raw main events are fantastic too, because I’m giving match of the week honors to the 11/18/13 Raw match where CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes, Goldust and The Usos defeated Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, Bray Wyatt, Erick Rowan and Luke Harper. Pure awesome.

I’m totally happy that CM Punk is finally involved in a feud with the Authority because I know this is going to make for amazing television. Too bad about that Bryan kid.

A.J. Lee skipping around the ring during the duration of her match on the 12/02/13 RAW? Genius.

If you didn’t see Antonio Cesaro swinging Yoshi Tatsu around the ring over a dozen times on the 11/28/13 NXT, then your name must be Stephanie McMahon because I don’t understand why this man is not main eventing Raw or SmackDown every week.

Match of the week honors must go out to the 12/04/13 NXT Women’s Championship title defense of Paige against Natalya. It was a rare women’s match that was given proper time and importance and it featured solid performances from two of the best female athletes in the business.

And, finally, I am absolutely thrilled that the World and WWE Championships are getting unified because it doesn’t make sense to have two heavyweight championships without the Brand Split in effect anymore. However, I’m not digging on what the WWE has done to promote this title unification. And, that leads me to…

The Bad

Do we have to see John Cena & Randy Orton face off again, in 2013, as the ultimate WWE champions? Triple H’s comment about waiting for the “right” superstars to be holding the titles before committing to a unification match infuriated me. It was a damning thing to say because it devalues all the months Daniel Bryan struggled to win the title over the Authority’s bullshit, makes CM Punk’s 434 day reign as champion seem pointless and slaps in the face all the months that Alberto Del Rio held the World title. The comment was made in character by Hunter, but a lot of the WWE universe take it at face value either as marks or as smarks.

Also, what stupid WWE universe fans picked The Unified Champion as the name of the new title? It only makes sense in the current context of the TLC PPV. Why would the WWE want that name twenty five years down the road? What does a Unified Champion mean? Nothing. And that’s why you don’t let fans decide on important matters.

The match itself wasn’t bad, but the Hamptons Hardcore match between Dolph Ziggler and Damien Sandow featured on the 11/25/13 Raw was a throwback to late 90’s WWE that I didn’t need thrown back. Those matches were lame and delivered as much trash wrestling as there was trash littering the ring. I mean, the Sandow match was entertaining but I’m worried about the groan-inducing repercussions that could come our way. And speaking of groan-inducing moments…

The Ugly

Why does WWE hate Daniel Bryan? Here’s a guy who was their most over superstar in years and they chewed him up and spit him out into mid-card land. And, they further saddled him by putting him in a storyline that makes no sense. Bryan was abducted by the Wyatts on the 11/25/13 Raw only to have him compete against Erick Rowan on the 12/02/13 Raw with no explanation as to what happened in between or if it had any effect on Bryan’s physical or mental state. He didn’t even speak at all about what happened. Is he mute now?

Stephanie’s lame mentioning of Triple H as one of the former great World & WWE champions during the 12/02/13 TLC contract signing was eye-rolling but also possibly a scary thought. I have this feeling in my gut that the Authority’s prominent assurances that there will be one definitive champion at the TLC PPV isn’t referring to either Cena or Orton. I think that Triple H is looking to secure his name in history as the first Unified champion. I hope I’m wrong, but I wouldn’t put it past WWE.

Also, I wish WWE would stop crowing on and on about how unprecedented the WWE title reunification is. All those steroids and head injuries must have made them forget about 2001 and Chris Jericho’s premier title run as the Undisputed Champion.

And now, something you’ll hopefully really like, the WWE FLASHBACK OF THE WEEK:

WWE Flashback of the Week

Remember this guy?

That’s Perry Saturn and his girlfriend, Moppy. Saturn was storyline brain-damaged by attacks from Raven & the APA so he started acting weird and took to carrying around a mop with a face painted on it. In actuality, he was being punished by WWE for an incident involving a jobber where Saturn “shoot” attacked the jobber for blowing a spot. Moppy eventually became victim to a woodchipper courtesy of Saturn’s former valet, Terri Runnels, who was now aligned with Raven in a feud against Saturn. Their feud culminated at Unforgiven 2001 when Saturn defeated Raven in a five minute match. Ah…memories. Also, remember when Saturn wore dresses to the ring in WCW? The wrestling creative gods did not smile down upon Perry Saturn.

That’s going to end this Three Weeks in WWE recap. Come back next time for more zany wrestling fun and I promise there will be a next time.

And, that’s the bottom line because I said so.