Rat Queens #5



Written by Kurtis J Wiebe | Art by Roc Upchurch

Dave: The sheer force she’s exerting to blow that guy’s intestines out of his back is quite exhilarating.

Sean: Hold up, I’m crying foul here. Who gets stabbed in the stones, and keeps fighting?!

Dog: I think this is how they teach women’s self-defense classes in Florida. Stand your ground, ladies!

Sam: “Sir, your guts are falling out!”


Worlds’ Finest (2012-) #20



Written by Paul Levitz | Art by Scott McDaniel

Dog: To boldly go where no boob window has gone before. …Is she devoid of nipples? ‘Cuz I’m pretty sure they’d be at attention near absolute zero.

Dave: Those boobs not only defy gravity, they defy logic.

Sean: Judging by her eye, they cut off the circulation to her brain, too.

Sam: That shirt must not be made of any earthly fabric. It would take a lot of reinforcement to hold those in.


The Manhattan Projects #18



Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Nick Pitarra

Dave: This reminds me of my G.I. Joe collection after an intense battle in the back yard. Yes, my G.I. Joes had removable eyeballs, didn’t yours?

Sean: You know you’re desensitized to gore when your first thought looking at panel 2 is, “Oh, wow, he kept his teeth in great shape.”

Dog: Who put the warden of Superjail in charge of a sensitive, nuclear facility?

Sam: It was all fun in games until Johnny pulled out the blender.


Deadly Class #2



Written by Rick Remender | Art by Wes Craig

Dave: Nothing says love like a good “pat pat” on a goats ass.

Sean: That goat is about to be on Law and Order: SVU.

Dog: If Bloomberg were still in office, the cop would be arresting him for the cigarette instead, AMIRITE?!?! Public health policy slam!

Sam: That guy’s eyebrow is seriously screwed up.


Army of Darkness vs. Hack/Slash #6



Written by Tom Seeley | Art by Daniel Leister

Dave: I hate it when I’m fighting someone and realize after the fact that their face is made of Fruit Gushers.

Sean:

Dog: The scouts are gonna love a southpaw who can drive the lazy eye changeup pitch.


Ragnaroc Inc: Embrace Oblivion #2



Written by Jason K Garrett | Art by K. Tin Dreampath

Dog: So who owns the registered trademark on her crotch?

Dave: I’m just glad her costume replaces the rags with something that shows off tits, vag and ass from the front.

Sean: Raphael looks different.


Black Science #4



Written by Rick Remender | Art by Matteo Scalera

Dave: Now that’s what I call a clothesline!

Sean: NO! THEY KILLED MY FAVORITE ORGANIST!

Dog: Shit, not Four Eyes Funny Car Head! Remender always kills the best characters!


The Revenge #1



Written by Jonathan Ross | Art by Ian Churchill

Dave: Why does the spider want this to stop so bad? What a show he’s witnessing!

Sean: Face Off 2, directed by Clive Barker.

Dog: Always wondered how they prepared specimens for that Bodies exhibit. Truthfully, I expected fewer vermin on the plastination table.

Sam: That is not what he thought they meant when they said “face lift”.

  • Ducks

    Love the commentary. Here are a few I thought of when reading…

    Army of Darkness vs.
    Hack/Slash #6 – “Batter up bitch!”

    Worlds’
    Finest (2012-) #20 “I may have pink eye but my breasts are real. No Really they are.”

    Ragnaroc
    Inc: Embrace Oblivion #2 “Amazing! The first fool proof menstrual
    cycle detector; if the R is lit up stay away boys – it’s rag time.”

    The Revenge #1 – “I hate it when a facial goes south.”

    • Haha, those are some pretty good ones. We used to have a caption contest where readers could comment their own captions to be used in next week’s article. If we get some more excitement about the comments we could for sure get that started again.