Rat Queens #5
Written by Kurtis J Wiebe | Art by Roc Upchurch
Dave: The sheer force she’s exerting to blow that guy’s intestines out of his back is quite exhilarating.
Sean: Hold up, I’m crying foul here. Who gets stabbed in the stones, and keeps fighting?!
Dog: I think this is how they teach women’s self-defense classes in Florida. Stand your ground, ladies!
Sam: “Sir, your guts are falling out!”
Worlds’ Finest (2012-) #20
Written by Paul Levitz | Art by Scott McDaniel
Dog: To boldly go where no boob window has gone before. …Is she devoid of nipples? ‘Cuz I’m pretty sure they’d be at attention near absolute zero.
Dave: Those boobs not only defy gravity, they defy logic.
Sean: Judging by her eye, they cut off the circulation to her brain, too.
Sam: That shirt must not be made of any earthly fabric. It would take a lot of reinforcement to hold those in.
The Manhattan Projects #18
Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Nick Pitarra
Dave: This reminds me of my G.I. Joe collection after an intense battle in the back yard. Yes, my G.I. Joes had removable eyeballs, didn’t yours?
Sean: You know you’re desensitized to gore when your first thought looking at panel 2 is, “Oh, wow, he kept his teeth in great shape.”
Dog: Who put the warden of Superjail in charge of a sensitive, nuclear facility?
Sam: It was all fun in games until Johnny pulled out the blender.
Deadly Class #2
Written by Rick Remender | Art by Wes Craig
Dave: Nothing says love like a good “pat pat” on a goats ass.
Sean: That goat is about to be on Law and Order: SVU.
Dog: If Bloomberg were still in office, the cop would be arresting him for the cigarette instead, AMIRITE?!?! Public health policy slam!
Sam: That guy’s eyebrow is seriously screwed up.
Army of Darkness vs. Hack/Slash #6
Written by Tom Seeley | Art by Daniel Leister
Dave: I hate it when I’m fighting someone and realize after the fact that their face is made of Fruit Gushers.
Dog: The scouts are gonna love a southpaw who can drive the lazy eye changeup pitch.
Ragnaroc Inc: Embrace Oblivion #2
Written by Jason K Garrett | Art by K. Tin Dreampath
Dog: So who owns the registered trademark on her crotch?
Dave: I’m just glad her costume replaces the rags with something that shows off tits, vag and ass from the front.
Sean: Raphael looks different.
Black Science #4
Written by Rick Remender | Art by Matteo Scalera
Dave: Now that’s what I call a clothesline!
Sean: NO! THEY KILLED MY FAVORITE ORGANIST!
Dog: Shit, not Four Eyes Funny Car Head! Remender always kills the best characters!
The Revenge #1
Written by Jonathan Ross | Art by Ian Churchill
Dave: Why does the spider want this to stop so bad? What a show he’s witnessing!
Sean: Face Off 2, directed by Clive Barker.
Dog: Always wondered how they prepared specimens for that Bodies exhibit. Truthfully, I expected fewer vermin on the plastination table.
Sam: That is not what he thought they meant when they said “face lift”.