Rat Queens #5



Written by Kurtis J Wiebe | Art by Roc Upchurch

Dave: The sheer force she’s exerting to blow that guy’s intestines out of his back is quite exhilarating.

Sean: Hold up, I’m crying foul here. Who gets stabbed in the stones, and keeps fighting?!

Dog: I think this is how they teach women’s self-defense classes in Florida. Stand your ground, ladies!

Sam: “Sir, your guts are falling out!”


Worlds’ Finest (2012-) #20



Written by Paul Levitz | Art by Scott McDaniel

Dog: To boldly go where no boob window has gone before. …Is she devoid of nipples? ‘Cuz I’m pretty sure they’d be at attention near absolute zero.

Dave: Those boobs not only defy gravity, they defy logic.

Sean: Judging by her eye, they cut off the circulation to her brain, too.

Sam: That shirt must not be made of any earthly fabric. It would take a lot of reinforcement to hold those in.


The Manhattan Projects #18



Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Nick Pitarra

Dave: This reminds me of my G.I. Joe collection after an intense battle in the back yard. Yes, my G.I. Joes had removable eyeballs, didn’t yours?

Sean: You know you’re desensitized to gore when your first thought looking at panel 2 is, “Oh, wow, he kept his teeth in great shape.”

Dog: Who put the warden of Superjail in charge of a sensitive, nuclear facility?

Sam: It was all fun in games until Johnny pulled out the blender.


Deadly Class #2



Written by Rick Remender | Art by Wes Craig

Dave: Nothing says love like a good “pat pat” on a goats ass.

Sean: That goat is about to be on Law and Order: SVU.

Dog: If Bloomberg were still in office, the cop would be arresting him for the cigarette instead, AMIRITE?!?! Public health policy slam!

Sam: That guy’s eyebrow is seriously screwed up.


Army of Darkness vs. Hack/Slash #6



Written by Tom Seeley | Art by Daniel Leister

Dave: I hate it when I’m fighting someone and realize after the fact that their face is made of Fruit Gushers.

Sean:

Dog: The scouts are gonna love a southpaw who can drive the lazy eye changeup pitch.


Ragnaroc Inc: Embrace Oblivion #2



Written by Jason K Garrett | Art by K. Tin Dreampath

Dog: So who owns the registered trademark on her crotch?

Dave: I’m just glad her costume replaces the rags with something that shows off tits, vag and ass from the front.

Sean: Raphael looks different.


Black Science #4



Written by Rick Remender | Art by Matteo Scalera

Dave: Now that’s what I call a clothesline!

Sean: NO! THEY KILLED MY FAVORITE ORGANIST!

Dog: Shit, not Four Eyes Funny Car Head! Remender always kills the best characters!


The Revenge #1



Written by Jonathan Ross | Art by Ian Churchill

Dave: Why does the spider want this to stop so bad? What a show he’s witnessing!

Sean: Face Off 2, directed by Clive Barker.

Dog: Always wondered how they prepared specimens for that Bodies exhibit. Truthfully, I expected fewer vermin on the plastination table.

Sam: That is not what he thought they meant when they said “face lift”.