Original Sin #1
Written by Jason Aaron | Art by Mike Deodato Jr.
Dave: It’s going to be a real bitch burying that huge creature. Maybe get a horse grave digger?
Dog: The original tag line for the event was, “Who skullfucked the Watcher?”
Grimm Fairy Tales #97
Written by Shane McKenzie | Art by Antonio Bifulco
Dave: The Tooth Fairy is just getting greedy. First teeth, now entire skeletons?! What’s next, Bone Thugz N Harmony? ::rimshot:: ::groans::
Dog: I’m not particularly interested in Mortal Kombat’s “Childhood Favorites” DLC.
Dave: You knew it was your mother as you chewed through her and didn’t stop it’s your fault for not stopping. Nice job, tooth baby.
Dog: If only the Tooth Fairy had gotten there sooner!
Patrick: What the hell is Verne Troyer doing in that woman’s womb? And why is he so damn pleased with himself?
68: Rule of War #2 (of 4)
Written by Mark Kidwell | Art by Jeff Zornow
Dave: How did they get a picture of Joan Rivers from the 2050?
Dog: It’s like some kind of cyborg scarecrow. Sent back in time to kill the leader of the Sparrow Resistance.
Written by Ed Brubaker | Art by Sean Phillips
Dave: Humpty Dumpty: the live action version.
Dog: Serial killers practice on animals first. Then people. Then they’re finally ready to be master jack-o-lantern carvers.
Patrick: Max Headroom sure is looking gaunt these days.
Written by Joshua Williamson | Art by Mike Henderson
Dave: Does he pinky promise?
Dog: My manicurist is a bit … unorthodox.
Written by Jonathan Ross | Art by Ian Churchill
Dog: If American Psycho was a furry.
Dave: The dog ears remain the same size but the snout is super short…how?
Written by Tim Seeley | Art by Mike Norton
Dog: “It’s liquor before beer, dear. I’ll switch when I’m off duty in three hours.”
Dave: “For the last time Martha, cut your neck open after you serve the guests!”
The Woods #1
Written by James Tynion IV | Art by Michael Dialynas
Dave: General Mills should have never made children-fruit snacks. The bats just love them!
Dog: I’ll accept a little scalp mutilation and demon rabies if they help keep the mosquito population down.
Dead Letters #2
Written by Christopher Sebela | Art by Chris Visions
Dave: I love the singing duo of whistles and speechless. It’s bloody good!
Dog: I honestly have no idea what’s happening here. It looks like an alien bursting from the chest of a young, angel-winged Abe Vigoda.
The Sixth Gun #40
Written by Cullen Bunn | Art by Brian Hurtt
Dave: Perfect storyboards for a potential Tums commercial.
Dog: “Not EVEN from my cold, dead hands!”
Suicide Risk #13
Written by Mike Carey | Art by Elena Casagrande
Dave:Somebody used an eraser on that guy’s head.
Dog: What’s Naked Man gonna do to that guy’s neckhole OHMYGOD WE FOUND THE WATCHER’S KILLER!