Kill Shakespeare: The Mask Of Night #1

Written by Anthony Del Col | Art by J.K. Woodward

Dave: I love how this guy gets fingered, gets a chunk of meat pulled out of him, and only THEN does he look down and inspect the wound. Huh?

Dog: Why is his heart in his lower abdomen? Did his contents shift during fight?

Aphrodite IX #11

Written by Matt Hawkins | Art by Stjepan Sejic

Dave: Hey babe, I may want to slave you but I assure you all my slaves are satisfi-KRAK.

Dog: That’s not how you do the “Look over there!” gag.

Sean: “Did you say slave? I thought you said Slade, as in David, like the director of 30 Days of Night, and currently the director of NBC’s Hanni-”KRAK.

Savage Dragon #195

By Erik Larsen

Dave: Put it away because she can’t tear her eyes from it!

Sean: You think his thing has a fin?

Dog: And he forgot to study for the big test!

Russ: So that’s why Malcolm Dragon’s forearms are so big.

B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth #120

Written by Mike Mignola, John Arcudi | Art by Laurence Campbell

Dave: That is an uncircumcised penis monster. Your argument is invalid.

Dog: Is it … robbing a bank? Do mohels charge per square inch of foreskin?

Sean: You know that expression “my dick ran away”? Yeah.

Drumhellar #6

Written by Riley Rossmo and Alex Link | Art by Riley Rossmo

Dave: Thanks to Rossomo we now know what sex ala acid trip looks like.

Sean: I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m incredibly aroused.

Dog: Man, it’s all pixelated. So much for stealing Psychedelic Cinemax.

The Wicked + The Divine #1

Written by Kieron Gillen | Art by Jamie McKelvie

Dave: Snap. Crackle. Pop.

Dog: “West Side Story: A Compton Players Production”

Sean: I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m incredibly aroused.

Original Sin #4

Written by Jason Aaron | Art by Mike Deodato Jr.

Dave: Little Joey is going to cry when he see’s that middle finger Black Panther is flipping!

Dog: That’s actually the Wakandan symbol for “respect.” The symbol for “honor” is a pelvic thrusting motion in the general direction of your mom. It’s a little known fact that the country was founded by 15-year-olds.

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