Saga #20



Written by Brian K. Vaughn | Art by Fiona Staples

Dave: There are less violent ways to show how you don’t like the programming…

Dog: “I always knew the kid wasn’t mine, Cheryl! He’s a plasma screen!”

Sean: That’s what I wanna do when Red Dwarf is on.
I just don’t care for that program.

Jordan: Saga is trolling me by killing one of the only two characters I actually cared about in this series. Darn you and your evil twists, Vaughan!


Godstorm: Hercules Payne #3



Written by Chuck Brown | Art by AC Osorio

Dave: “Hey, fork you man!” a terrible comedian said.

Dog: Come on, Dave, “Use the forks!” was right there!

Greg: I know I should be paying attention to the fork in that guy’s eye, but I just have to say that “Shnnk” is one of my favorite comic book sound effects.

Sean: Forkin’ awesome.

Jordan: Ah dude man! Not cool! He already had a fork in his eye.


Dream Police #3



Written by Sid Kotian | Art by Bill Farmer

Dave: Even dream orgies aren’t real. Ugh.

Dog: Which Dream Police desk jockey do I have to petition for a 212-7a-7? All I ever dream about is my teeth falling out. I want off the dental mental spam list!

Sean: Dream where cop comes in to break up your orgy? Been there, am I right, fellas?!

Fellas?

Jordan: Those poor women. Their twisted horrible spines!


Deadly Class #6



Written by Rick Remender | Art by Wesley Craig

Dave: “Let me just fan you,” OMG NO YOU’RE DEAD!

Dog: Gamer pro-tip: Skip the Arthouse Fatality DLC for Mortal Kombat. The animation is … choppy.

Dave: I see what you did there.

Jordan: I always knew a paper cut would be the death of someone, just not in this way honestly.


Chew #42



Written by John Layman | Art by Rob Guillory

Dave: Mini town needs less tongue and more pants. God I never thought I’d say that…

Dog: And that’s how Michael Douglas got throat cancer.


Revival #21



Written by Tim Seeley | Art by Mike Norton

Dave: Pseudo-Mulder needs to stop touching chins and just bang pseudo-Scully already, god…

Dog: That’s Russian for, “Keep your thumb out of my chin dimple, square-head.”

Sean: “Aw, God! HE GOT SPIT BLOOD IN MY MOUTH!”

Jordan: Look, I was speaking hypnotically about that whole “the killer was trying to say something” thing so shut up head!