Written by Ron Marz | Art by Laura Braga
Dave: Now that’s what I call fisting.
Dog: This must be the pointiest page in the history of comics. I’d be afraid of papercuts just handling it.
Written by Tim Seeley | Art by Mirka Andolfo
Dave: Jack Kirby Rule #47: Never miss an opportunity for a side boob shot. NEVER.
Dog: One guy screws up and now everyone has to watch front axle impalement videos when applying for a motorcycle license.
Scum of the Earth #1
Written by Mark Bertolini | Art by Rob Croonenborghs
Dave: Deleted scene from The Good, The Bad, and the Spaghetti Head.
Dog: Another intact eyeball ejection! Is this something 21st century “How to Draw Comics” books really harp on? “You’ll never work if you can’t do an IEE!”
Written by Joshua Williamson | Art by Carlos Magno
Dog: “You wanna draw Robocop? Lots of IEEs.”
Dave: Now that’s what I call an ocular patdown.
Written by J. Michael Straczynski | Art by Tom Mandrake
Dave: Air traffic control must be pissed about this one.
Dog: It’s like that scene from E.T., except there’s no bicycle and the basket is his crotch.
The Field #3
Written by Ed Brisson | Art by Simon Roy
Dave: I’m not sure what’s more disturbing, the bat’leth being used to maim or that load in the dude’s underwear.
Dog: I guess when we finally decided to become a soccer country this year, hooliganism was part of the deal. Nice to see we could add the guns and dead animals for our own, nationalistic style. Happy Independence Day!
Written by Greg Rucka | Art by Michael Lark
Dave: Jesus guy, just stab her and be done with it, don’t fondle her kidneys!
Dog: “Give me your tired, your poor, your tangled intestines yearning to spill free.” USA USA USA!
Hack/Slash: Son Of Samhain #1
Written by Michael Moreci | Art by Steve Seeley
Dave: Nightmare fuel.
Dog: I’ll be damned, the worms DO play pinochle on your snout.
East of West #13
Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Nick Dragotta
Dave: Maybe cover him up with a sheet or something? Kind of intimate seeing his esophagus and all.
Dog: “Yeah, yeah, dead dad; where did you get that placental bean bag chair? I need a birthday gift for a biology student.”