Chew #23



Written Rob Guillory | Art by John Layman

Dog: “Hipster glasses are a privilege, not a right!”

Dave: Harlem nose job anyone?

Jordan: To be fair, no one is ever ready for knife eye surgery.


Ghost Rider #7



Written Felipe Smith | Art by Damion Scott

Dave: The new title for the sequel to Chew! Chomp #1 will be out on stands November 14th!

Jordan: …Well, that just happened.

Dog: Avenging his Gummi brethren.


Evil Empire #5



Written Max Bemis | Art by Joe Eisma

Dave: Murder dicks porn is going too far!

Dog: Believing they were “neutral” made us complacent. Now their soldiers take the world with genetically engineered, Swiss army penises!

Jordan: If I look long and hard enough (pun may have been intended), I sure there’s something like this in Japan’s catalogue of Hentai.


Low #3



Written Rick Remender | Art by Greg Tocchini

Dave: Hey, I got “listless ghost humping” on my last Buzzfeed quiz!

Dog: Now THAT’s an Eyes Wide Shut orgy! Not a horsehead in sight!

Jordan: “Ghosts”? They look too alive to be ghosts… now zombies on the other hand…


Clive Barker’s Nightbreed #5



Written Clive Barker, Marc Andreyko | Art by Piotr Kowalski, Emmanuel Xerx Javier

Dog: I’d take that over, “When are you going to settle down?” or “Why didn’t you finish grad school?”

Dave: If I wanted to see childbirth I’d go to Sarah Palin cookout. AMIRIGHT!?

John: On the bright side, he got past the teething process quickly.

Jordan: D’aw, look at that adorable hellspawn!


Private Eye #8



Written Brian K. Vaughn | Art by Marcos Martin

Dave: Who wants eggs?!

Dog: Now who will take care of Mexican Curious George?!

Jordan: Death by grape juice.


Chronicles of Hate HC



Written and drawn by Adrian Smith

Dave: Avian flu is a real problem in Mordor and I think I know why.

John: Who knew the Eye of Sauron was the GPS of Middle Earth!

Jordan: Apparently in the east, they have the tastiest of eyeballs.

Dog: For this guy’s sake, I hope he never eats my left pinky.