Invincible #115



Written by Robert Kirkman | Art by Ryan Ottely

Dave: Pretty sure that should read “SQUIRT!”

Sean: Guy’s filled with a lot of fruit punch, huh?

John: OH YEAH!


Clive Barker’s Hellraiser: Bestiary #4 (of 6)



Written by Lela Gwenn, Ben Meares, Christian Francis, and Mark Miller | Art by Daniele Serra, Huseyin Ozkan, and Carlos Magno

Dave: Fun Fact: Hellraiser is a huge bowling fan.

John: STRIKE!!

Dog: I thought he was getting revenge on the guy who stole all the flair from his Chotchkie’s sash.

Sean: Think I just smelled a SKULCH.


Dawn / Vampirella #2



Written by and Drawn by Joseph Michael Linsner

Dave: I just find it hilarious that instead of a respectable over the shoulder shot Linsner thinks it’s fitting to have an over the butt shot for Vampirella.

John: Not sure how his heart didn’t stop already after that ass shot!

Dog: As long as he drives faster than 50 mph, he’ll be fine.

Sean: I don’t know about y’all, but I doubt I could fight a broad with that much flesh exposed. My pants bomb might explode.


Zero #12



Written by Ales Kot | Art by Adam Gorham

Dog: “They put AIDS in my Coke!”

Dave: Peanut butter drank is the wave of the future!

Sean: Nah dog, you good. I mean, you coughin’ bile, but… nah, you good, man.

Jordan: I’m sorry, but I don’t think we have that brand of soda.


The Multiversity: Pax Americana #1



Written by Grant Morrison | Art by Frank Quitely

Dave: Jaw dropping art work here folks. Simply JAW DROPPING!

Sean: Say “ahhhhh.”

Dog: Unlike the magic bullet that killed Kennedy, this one apparently turns the mandible of an assassination victim into spoiled caviar and spider eggs.

Jordan: The best way to fix any bad situation to rewind the scene. See? He’s smiling again!


Army of Darkness: Ash Gets Hitched #4



Written by Steve Niles | Art by Nacho Tenorio

Dave: Someone really needs to do an eyeball popping montage of all the eye popping panels we’ve done so far.

Sean: It’s been a damn lot of eye popping action.

Dog: An Ejection Retrospect! It has to happen!


Goners #2



Written by Jacob Semahn | Art by Jorge Corona

Dave: “Why’d she pass out? She said she wanted a birthday surprise!”

Dog: Got drowsy on the carbon monoxide from all those candles.

Jordan: My god, they bled red paint!


Royal Blood



Written Alejandro Jodorowsky | Art by Dongzi Lui

Dave: Bob thought a cleft forehead would be a cool new look but realized it was a horrible decision when the sword hit his septum.

Dog: Who asked for the Lord of the Rings/My Little Pony crossover?

Dave: Mr. Potato Head was a lot different in the Dark Ages.

Dog: Just like a royal to cut off her breasts to spite her gash.


Thief of Thieves #25



Written by Andy Diggle | Art by Adriano Lucas

Dave: How’d that get there? Dammit, I always misplace my knives!

Dog: It really does look like it just appeared. It’s like he was murdered by Criss Angel.


Coffin Hill #13



Written Caitlin Kittredge | Art by Inaki Miranda

Dog: The bioluminescent lure of a deep sea anglerfish?

Dave: She would have seen a tear for nut one and nut two.

Jordan: You either shot him or he’s shitting a lot of blood in fear.