68 Homefront #4
Written by Mark Kidwell | Art by Kyle Charles
Dave: The first recorded instance of a zombie having a snack.
Russ: “The Mountie… always gets his man!” /classic WWF reference
Dog: Man or moldy watermelon?
Sean: You got a little something in your… nevermind, you got it.
Chew #45
Written by John Layman | Art by Rob Guillory
Dave: “Zap him” was the first sign Ralph wasn’t really a doctor.
Russ: What was the thought process on the first one? “We have one leg and this third leg on ice… let’s just get him in there. He’s gonna be just fine!”
Sean: “Like, Buzz him, ya know? Uh… Oh jeez, what’s the right word? Give him the razmatazz, ya know?!”
Dog: It’s sad that Beetle Bailey had to die, but at least he was an organ donor.
Chaos Holiday Special 2014
Written by Steve Seeley, Michael Moreci | Art by Rodolfo Rodriguez, Juan Antonio Ramirez, Carlos Reno
Dave: Unless of course he plays with her breasts! Too literal?
John: It’s the cookies. It was always the cookies!
Dog:I think she means whatever mind-numbing super-narcotic that’s putting that catatonic expression on her face.
Sean “I’m talking about cold milk. It’s fucking cold down at the North Pole, I’m freezing my tits off in this!”
Russ: Bitches love Santa.
Birthright #3
Written by Joshua Williamson | Art by Andrei Bressan
Dave: Boom goes the dynamite!
Dog: Now Luke will freeze to death for sure.
Sean Aww. Man, he was my favorite Hellbeast.
Wolf Moon (2014-) #1
Written by Jeremy Haun | Art by June Chung
Dave: I hate it when monsters play with their food.
Sean “Jesus… was also a werewolf.”
Dog: “I know, Mama, but Jacob was my werewolf. I’ll do it.”
Dave: Some people might like a practical joker but it’s still rude to make a face.
John: Well she didn’t look back.
God Hates Astronauts #4
Written by Ryan Browne | Art by Ryan Browne
Dave: Or expand your brains. Whichever comes first.
Dog: An aging, senile Winston Zeddemore finally loses his proton pack privileges.
Dave: Just slap “Science” under this and stick it outside the Creationist Museum!
Dog: I don’t know; this selection looks anything but natural.
Tooth and Claw #2
Written by Kurt Busiek | Art by Ben Dewey
Dave: Winnie the Pooh got really dark with Christopher Nolan directing.
Sean Bullhit.
John: Taking revenge on goats for the mass slaughter of his people. #Priceless
Dog: Okay, I really shouldn’t have bet against the Minotaur in this fight. But the Easter Bunny was due!
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