Harley Quinn (2013-) #1: Holiday Special



Written by Amanda Conner & Jimmy Palmiotti | Art by Darwyn Cooke

Dog: Well, the grandfather clock is the biggest one in the house.

Dave: Nothing is wrong children…nothing to see here…I think he finished; just look at that last panel!

Sean: Oh, seriously grandpa, you served in Korea, don’t act so shocked.


Deep State #2



Written by Justin Jordan | Art by Ariela Kristantina

Dave: Now that is one awesome Halloween pincushion!

Dog: People laugh at me when I tell them how dangerous acupuncture is.

Sean: The new Pinhead design is just lazy.


Amazing Spider-Man #11



Written by Dan Slott | Art by Olivier Coipel

Dave: He goes for the Captain when he had basically a bare-chested Spider totem to eat RIGHT THERE. I guess we know which way Morlun swings.

Dog: Vegan too, apparently, as he overlooked the pig. I don’t think these villains are cloned when they die; they just import exact duplicates from Williamsburg.


East of Westworld #1



Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Nick Dragotta

Dave: Fleshlight 2.0 has gotten really aggressive.

Dog: Chimpanzee Hobgoblin shouldn’t have forgotten his grundle-guard.

Sean: ‘Cause it’s a Thriller! Thriller night!


Prometheus: Fire and Stone #4



Written by Paul Tobin | Art by Juan Ferreyra

Dave: I hate when they play with their food.

Dog: “Sorry to start without you, Gary, but I figured with hot food it’s okay.”


Hexed #5



Written by Michael Alan Nelson | Art by Dan Mora

Dave: Alternate scene in Spaceballs.

Dog: Does the Keeper of Secrets live in that guy’s duodenum? Is the secret what the appendix was used for?

Sean: If you feelin’ like a stomach goblin, go ‘head, brush yo bile off.


Savage Dragon #200



Written and Drawn by Erik Larsen

Dave: She’s kinda high on him for this to be working. Or am I thinking too much into this?

Dog: You don’t know much about reptile genitalia, do you, Dave?


Crossed: Badlands #68



Written by David Lapham | Art by German Erramouspe

Dave: Freud was almost right. Guy was never a foodie which got in the way of his science.

Dog: Hold on, we don’t see the penis. She could be wearing it right now!

Sean: Bratwurst anyone?


Sex Criminals #9



Written by Matt Fraction | Art by Chip Zdarsky

Dog: That’s not her ass.

Dave: Juci, dat ass…what is this a rap video from the 80’s?

Sean: I picture him sounding like David Bowie, which makes this scene a lot funnier.


Lady Demon #1



Written by Aaron Gillespie | Art by Mirka Andolfo

Dave: Tooth decay leads to face decay, which leads to leads to fly feasts. I’ve seen it a hundred times!

Dog: Shouldn’t have used roadkill as chaw. But I guess, when in South Carolina ….

Sean: That hair is gorgeous though. Can we talk about that hair?


Shutter #7



Written by Joe Keatinge | Art by Leila Del Duca

Dave: How can he be gurgling? His intestines are like party streamers!

Dog: I didn’t like Tarantino’s adaptation of Animal Farm.


Mercy Thompson #3



Written by Patricia Briggs, Rik Hoskin | Art by Tom Garcia

Dog: “I’m waving; can’t you see me?!”

Dave: This is what happens when you get too handsy.


V Wars #8



Written by Jonathan Maberry | Art by Marco Turini

Dave: I usually shoot my friends in the head too.

Dog: Your friends are mannequins filled with marmalade?