Burning Fields #1
Written by Michael Moreci & Tim Daniel | Art by Colin Lorimer
Dog: “That’s a good fucking time, sweetheart. If you’re down.”
Dave: Awww, why the long face?
Jordan: Huh… that’s certainly something you don’t see everyday.
13 Coins #4
Written by Martin Brennan, Michael B. Jackson | Art by Simon Bisley
Dave: I think he hit a vein.
Dog: Happenstance Man, the world’s worst superhero, can only win when all his foes have simultaneous, explosive brain aneurysms.
Jordan: Well it looks like your angel armor makes people’s faces explode…. somehow.
Written by Brian Michael Bendis | Art by Michael Avon Oeming
Dave: Now that’s a butt shot. Watch out JLo!
Jordan: Aw man! Why you have to fall and total that nice car dude?
Written by KEL SYMONS | Art by NATHAN STOCKMAN
Dave: Lizard on human action is some of the slimiest porno around. You see what I did there?!
Dog: “Be as rough as you want, honey; if it breaks off, I’ll just grow a new one!”
John: Still waiting for Jabba to come out from behind that curtain!
Jordan: Drugs, naked women, and giant lizards… because why not.
Written by Justin Jordan | Art by Kyle Strahm
Dave: Cleaving a dude’s head is probably the least effective way of getting ahead of the line at Disneyland.
Dog: Shouldn’t have disgruntled the griddle guy at the Mongolian barbeque.
Jordan: The most important thing is that man went out with a smile on his face.
Dave: Next month see the new Avenger everyone is talking about: Baby Spittles!
Dog: Kid’s gonna be a nightmare for substitutes.
Clive Barker’s Hellraiser: Bestiary #6 (of 6)
Written by Christopher Sebela, Ben Meares, & Mark Miller | Art by Matt Battaglia, Peter Bergting, & Carlos Magno
Dave: He does not have eyes for hooks.
John: How far do you have to pull until the skin starts peeling away?
Dog: You’ll never know if you don’t play, John. *grins maniacally*
Jordan: Yeah doc! Out on the town with your Silent Hill abominations! The people will love that!
Written by Jacob Semahn | Art by Jorge Corona
Dave: Gives new meaning to the genre of tentacle porn.
John: Not sure those wings are big enough to lift that many tentacles!
Dog: Lady Cthulhu smothered Santa! The War on Christmas is real!
Jordan: Artist: Umm, do we need this many tentacles? I think the audience gets it. Writer: Damn straight we do! More tentacles! MMMMOOOORRRREEEE!!!!!