Savage Dragon #202
Written by and Drawn by Erik Larsen
Dave: Heavy Flo’s ultimate nemeses are Tampon Trish and Toxic Shock. Go figure.
John: I don’t know, looks like Giant Fist is Heavy Flo’s archnemesis.
Sean: The Thing got old as shit.
Dog: Erik Larsen figured out what works in the ‘90s and is sticking with it. He’s the Counting Crows of comic books.
Dave: Hurry up and stop her kid Savage Dragon, she’s in pain!
Dog: Your parents never gave you “the talk,” did they, Dave?
John: He is not looking forward to his “Cum to Jesus” moment.
Sean: He totally doesn’t look into this.
The Multiversity: Mastermen #1
Written by Grant Morrison | Art by Jim Lee
Greg: Everybody poops, including the greatest evil the world has ever known.
Dave: If we could only send this back in time and show Hitler what a joke he’s become he probably would have gone back to painting.
Dog: I refuse to believe 1940s German toilet paper was that quilty soft. I imagine boiled beech bark is about the best you would have gotten.
Written and Art by john Arcudi and James Harren
Dave: In this universe momentum is an unstoppable force.
Dog: Why did he eviscerate that mantis Minotaur? Or behead that Ugly Doll?
Secret Identity #1
Written by Jay Faerber and Brian Joines | Art by Ilias Kyriazis
Dog: There really should be a limit of … one ellipsis per conversation.
Dave: This guy is a walking antacid commercial.
John: Introducing the new spokesman for the CDC’s anti-smoking campaign!
Written by Greg Rucka | Art by Michael Lark
Dog: Ben Kingsley’s a nice guy, as long as you’re not looking to get tipped for bringing his bags up.
Sean: Mr. Magoo got mean when he got contacts.
Dave: Failed Listerine commercial #46.
John: In the future you can ejaculate from your mouth, but only in limited quantities.
Deadly Class #11
Written by Rick Remender | Art by Wes Craig
Dave: “And on the next day the spork was invented. That concludes The History of Cutlery with a Violent Past TV special.”
Dog: “Field’s ready ta plant them potaters, Pa!”
Greg: This is uplifting. “No more moping. No more self-pity.” I’ve got to start taking more control of my life, too. Should I start by stabbing my enemies in the face?
Bitch Planet #3
Written by Kelly Sue DeConnick | Drawn by Robert Wilson IV
Dog: Not a DIRECT swap, I hope.
Dave: Creepy yet poignant interchange, or The Biggest Loser fan fiction?