Batman #39

Written by Scott Snyder | Art by Greg Capullo

Dog: “Okay, I need someone from the audience to give me a location, a cutting implement, and an extremity you wouldn’t want brutally severed. Just shout it out!”

Dave: Alfred at once became more interesting AND less handsy.

Nick: Add in Jamie Lannister and Rick Grimes and we’ve got ourselves the best one-handed crossover that will ever be made.

Joe Frankenstein #1

Written by Graham Nolan & Chuck Dixon | Art by Graham Nolan

Dave: I hate when they put too much garlic on things too, emo vampire lady.

Dog: I think this anti-GMO, “organic” pepperoni ad is a little too abstract for its intended audience.

Nick: For once ordering from Domino’s turns out to be a good decision.

Turok #12

Written by Greg Pak, Paul Tobin | Art by Felipe Cunha, Ruairi Coleman

Dave: William Tell is pretty impatient in the Turok version of the story.

Dog: Now this anti-GMO, “organic” apple ad — I can relate to that! Who HASN’T been stabbed in the head by modern produce?

Nick: Still more dignified than getting taken out by a boxing glove arrow.

The Life After #7

Written by Joshua Hale Fialkov | Art by Gabo

Dave: I’ve heard of tricky colonoscopies but this takes the cake!

Dog: “The target area is only two centimeters wide. It’s a small bunghole, right below the tribal tramp stamp. The shaft leads directly to the large intestine. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the pre-cancerous polyps.”

Nick: This, however, is why ordering from Domino’s is NOT something you should make a habit of.

Thor Annual #1 (2015)

Written by CM Punk | Art by Rob Guillory

Dave: Do you chew the Odin’s beard?

Dog: I’m offended by a “straight edge” guy writing about alcohol. I don’t make comics about bad music and s----y tattoos.

Nick: Still preferable to Natty Light.

Written by Jason Aaron | Art by Timothy Truman

Dave: I think there’s some copyright laws being infringed on this one. The guy who made the Christian slogan “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” might be a bit angry.

Nick: Thor is clearly a fan of Sharknado.

Dog: So in the perfect world that Thor creates, he watches naked Captain America and Jane Foster. Well, with that much power, I guess it makes sense he’d be into that. For the full effect, though, should swap Cap for Falcon.

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