Conan the Avenger #14



written by Jeff King & Scott Lobdell | Art by Aaron Lopresti

Dave: There is scalping…and then there is Conan scalping!

John: OMG Fruit Ninja has a Conan version! Sign Me Up!!!

Dog: Gallagher got jacked. Now no melon will withstand his mighty blade!


Postal #4



written by Alex de Campi | Art by Fernando Ruiz

Dave: Point blank shotgun blast to the chest yet there is blood all over her? What did she use, a bazooka shotgun?

John: Dave, after she blew him away she ritualistically applied his blood as war paint. This all occurred off panel, or…possibly…just in my own mind.

Greg: “Don’t test someone that believes in justice.” I’m going to start saying that to my students. You know, minus the part where I shoot them.


Wayward #8



written by Len Wein | Art by Kelley Jones

Dog: Talk to your kids about arachnophilia, before manga does.

Dave: Some girls have good reason for dirty hair. Gross, but good.

John: I see Hagrid found himself a padawan!


Zombie Tramp vs. Vampblade #1



written by Joshua Williamson & Dennis Culver | Art by Alejandro Aragón

Dave: So just to be clear the men are splurting and spraying her face and ass with a liquid…totally not sexual right?

Dog: Spring break in Purgatory?


Deadly Class #13



written by Jim Zub | Art by Steve Cummings

Dave: Maria cried because she knew she’d never get into butcher school. All those cuts of meat would never be hers!

Dog: What’s with the stitches on her lips? It’s like she has a pre-shrunken head.


Pisces #2



written by Larry Hama | Art by Aaron Lopresti

Dave: This isn’t normal. But on meth it is!

John: This was a disappointment. I was really hoping to see the eye flying free of its socket.

Dog: It’s like PiPT on Opposite Day. Instead of an Intact Eyeball Ejection, we get a pierced eyeball … staying where it belongs.