Conan the Avenger #14
written by Jeff King & Scott Lobdell | Art by Aaron Lopresti
Dave: There is scalping…and then there is Conan scalping!
John: OMG Fruit Ninja has a Conan version! Sign Me Up!!!
Dog: Gallagher got jacked. Now no melon will withstand his mighty blade!
written by Alex de Campi | Art by Fernando Ruiz
Dave: Point blank shotgun blast to the chest yet there is blood all over her? What did she use, a bazooka shotgun?
John: Dave, after she blew him away she ritualistically applied his blood as war paint. This all occurred off panel, or…possibly…just in my own mind.
Greg: “Don’t test someone that believes in justice.” I’m going to start saying that to my students. You know, minus the part where I shoot them.
written by Len Wein | Art by Kelley Jones
Dog: Talk to your kids about arachnophilia, before manga does.
Dave: Some girls have good reason for dirty hair. Gross, but good.
John: I see Hagrid found himself a padawan!
Zombie Tramp vs. Vampblade #1
written by Joshua Williamson & Dennis Culver | Art by Alejandro Aragón
Dave: So just to be clear the men are splurting and spraying her face and ass with a liquid…totally not sexual right?
Dog: Spring break in Purgatory?
Deadly Class #13
written by Jim Zub | Art by Steve Cummings
Dave: Maria cried because she knew she’d never get into butcher school. All those cuts of meat would never be hers!
Dog: What’s with the stitches on her lips? It’s like she has a pre-shrunken head.
written by Larry Hama | Art by Aaron Lopresti
Dave: This isn’t normal. But on meth it is!
John: This was a disappointment. I was really hoping to see the eye flying free of its socket.
Dog: It’s like PiPT on Opposite Day. Instead of an Intact Eyeball Ejection, we get a pierced eyeball … staying where it belongs.