Age of Ultron vs. Marvel Zombies #2

Written by James Robinson | Art by Steve Pugh

Dave: Sometimes vasectomies go too far.

Man vs. Rock: A perfectly good belt–ruined.

Mythic #3

Written by Phil Hester | Art by John McCrea

Dave: I still think George R.R. Martin should have went with giant cats over dragons. Way more evil.

Man vs. Rock: “Jon Snow’s not dead, Ghost, he’s just … uh … sleeping …”

Nick: (Sigh) Ringo Starr will do just about any gig these days, won’t he?

Dog: He went werewolf to kill McCartney! “Paul is a dead man; miss him, miss him ….”

Pastaways #5

written by Alex de Campi | Art by Fernando Ruiz

Dave: Abortions are different in space.

Man vs. Rock: Really bad timing, as that monster was all set to appear on the “Space Aliens: Who’s the father?” episode of Jerry Springer.

Dog: Especially when the mother’s guts are made of red cabbage.

Nick:Files under ‘Signs you need to keep looking for the right obstetrician.

Surface Tension #3

Written by Jay Gunn | Art by Jay Gunn

Dave: I don’t know what is creepier, the phallic tongue or the human fingers. ::shivers uncontrollably::

Man vs. Rock: All I’m saying is, we never had space aliens rape-murdering people when George W. Bush was President …

Nick: You think the guy in the background is asking for the rifle, but he really just wants in on some of that sweet alien tongue action.

Dog: Yeah, glam metal Star-Lord shouldn’t have all the fun!

Rasputin #7

Written by Alex Grecian | Art by Riley Rossmo

Dave: I’m sure the anti-sword lobby is going to have a field day with this!

Man vs. Rock: Just like Thanksgiving at my dad’s house!

Nick:The only way to stop a bad guy with a knife is a good guy with a knife…or sword.

Dog: Well, it’s clearly more effective than a rape whistle.

Deep State #8

Written by Justin Jordan | Art by Ariela Kristantina

Dave: How not to use a screwdriver #145.

Nick: Extracted eye! We’re back in business, baby!

Dog: Extracted is not ejected, Nick. We’re not gonna settle for less.

Man vs. Rock: The episode of Home Improvement the networks didn’t want you to see.

Wayward #10

Written by Jim Zub | Art by Steven Cummings

Dave: And after that day KFC became KFH. Don’t even ask me about the fried fingers.

Nick: This is what happens when Burger King brings back chicken fries.

Dog: Hard to make the right choice when you’re thinking with the wrong pecker.

Man vs. Rock: Dog wins this round …

Manhattan Projects The Sun Beyond The Stars #2

Written By Jonathan Hickman | Art by Nick Pitarra

Dave: Some dogs fetch but other dogs…they scythe.

Man vs. Rock: Space monster’s best friend, indeed…

Nick: That’s an impressively clean cut by Fido.

Dog: I stopped having hope for the new Alien movie when Wile E. Coyote was cast as the lead.

God Hates Astronauts #10

Written by Ryan Browne | Art by Ryan Browne

Dave: The sound is coming from four locations but he’s only being split twice. My math skills call bullshit!

Man vs. Rock: Good to see Enron back in business!

Nick: Two body splits in a row? I think Dave is working out some issues here.

Dog: He looks like my 401(k) did in 2008. Oy.

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