Sup class.

So you want to know more about Deadpool, do you? Saw the movie trailer with Van Wilder playing him and it piqued your interest, did it? Well look no further. Let’s start with the Merc with a Mouth’s powers and abilities:

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Lesson 1: Regeneration/Healing Factor

You KNOW that I know nothing short of a NUKE will take you out! — Weasel, Deadpool: The Circle Chase #1

Stryfe knows his shit. And according to Stryfe’s Strike files, Deadpool’s healing factor puts Wolverine’s to shame:

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It’s so strong that one of his go-to tactics is surreptitiously pulling the pin from a grenade and asborbing the impact (while his enemies attempt to flee):

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Still cognizant with a machete through the domepiece:

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An arrow too:

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Seem strangely apathetic to being gored/disemboweled by an elephant tusk:

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Shrugs off a lightning attack from Storm:

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Self-mends a broken neck and then catches/reverses a punch from Moonstone (a character with superhuman strength):

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Negates the techno-organic virus that is notorious for taking over Cable’s body:

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A little crispy after entering the Earth’s atmosphere and crash landing, but otherwise fine:

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He can even reconstitute his body after being melted into a pile of goo:

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An issue of Remender’s X-Force explains how Deadpool survives for 800 years in isolation:

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Lesson 2: Weapons Proficiency/Fighting Ability/Speed

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My constipated clown-style will always beat your stinky diaper-style.” — Deadpool, Vengeance of Moon Knight #8

Despite oftentimes being portrayed as brain-addled comedy relief, Deadpool is proficient with a vast array of weaponry and is one of the deadliest, most-skilled fighters in the Marvel Universe.

Here he lodges a katana in T-Ray’s head before anyone can even move:

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Expert timing as he slices up a troll attacker:

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Vaulting over Sabretooth and then hamstringing him from behind:

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Wraps up this enemy commando with a pair of bolas:

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Handles the “finest swordsman on five continents” with aplomb:

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Wade’s pretty handy with his pistols as well:

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Spraying several Hydra agents:

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In his first encounter with the Taskmaster, an individual highly regarded as one of the elite fighters in the Marvel Universe (due to his ability to replicate/master peak humans’ fighting style on account of his photographic reflexes and memory), Deadpool was able to secure a rare hand-to-hand victory over the villain due to his erratic (and deranged) fighting style:

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In another encounter with Taskmaster, Deadpool is able to defeat the villain with both hands manacled:

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Snatches this ski-masked scoundrel’s gun from him with the quickness:

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Blocks Black Widow’s gunshots with a length of chain:

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Dices three gunmen apart with the quickness despite the fact that they’re holding hostages:

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His quick thinking during this fight against the Avengers sees him topple demigod Hercules after felling Black Goliath like a tree:

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Lesson 3: His Mouth

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They don’t call him the “Merc with a Mouth” for nothin’.

Get on Deadpool’s level, son.

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Damn… free health care in the Serpent Society?! Kind of puts my last three jobs into perspective.

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The monk’s reaction is priceless.

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Deadpool’s got funny reactions himself. Like his reaction to The Black Talon divulging his name.

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Deadpool’s rendition of Frank Sinatra classic “New York, New York” after blowing up a taxi cab with a bazooka (because the cab driver tried to overcharge).

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Daredevil quickly learns that handing out orders to/formulating a plan with Deadpool isn’t as easy at it should be.

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Same with Sasquatch.

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And of course, the infamous “SNIKT ME!” and subsequent Dragon Punch on Kitty Pryde. (He only did it to stir up a fight with Wolverine — because DP’s psychiatrist informed him that the best way to stop seeing the ghost of his dead girlfriend was to get in a throw-down that would last a good, long while. See? Good reason.)

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In our next Deadpool Lesson we’ll explore even more facets of our beloved Merc with a Mouth such as “breaking the 4th wall” and Deadpool’s dalliance with Death herself.

Want to see more Deadpool action but don’t know where to start after the movie? The Deadpool by Joe Kelly Omnibus is an excellent jumping on point.

  • Bunged Melons

    That Daredevil/Deadpool team-up is one of the best Deadpool stories ever told. Highly recommended.