Harley Quinn and Power Girl #5
Written by Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Gray, Amanda Conner | Art by Flaviono
Lisa: This is one twisted pillow fight.
Patrick H: The Movember fundraiser tie-ins get weirder every year.
Dave: Hot potato mustache was a popular game with the Roanoke Colony settlers. The great mystery of their disappearance became clear when archeologists uncovered the popular game moved from facial hair to pubic hair…
Man Vs. Rock: I’ve heard of Merkins for your muff, but now we have Breast-kins… only in Obama’s America.
Dog: Harley Quinn gave Power Girl an Arkansas Hairlip and a million fanboys burst with joy.
Written by Tom King | Art by Gabriel Hernandez Walta
Dave: House Hunters become the hunted.
Lisa: Steve never had much patience for waiting in line.
Patrick H: “Honey? Almost forgot! Don’t run the dishwasher! It’s a little homicidal today. Ok see you at 6!”
Man Vs. Rock: This is what happens when you let all those damn robots take our jobs.
We Stand on Guard #5
Written by Brian K. Vaughan | Art by Steve Skroce
Dave: And from that day forward lasers were no longer used for haircuts.
Dog: That’s why you can only buy red laser pointers in America. Go ahead, check Snopes.
Lisa: Betty was a huge crafter but she just hadn’t gotten the hang of using the laser paper cutter.
Patrick H: Hipster Steve and his dog Fixie are all, “Oh man, is it Laser Wednesday again?”
Man Vs. Rock: “Oh man… I knew I should have never gotten that Lasik eye surgery in Mexico…”
Dave: Eyeballs and tongues continue to be invulnerable. Heh, like Superman!
Patrick H: It really doesn’t feel like fall until the leaves start to drop, and heads start to explode like the pumpkin spice latte of my heart.
Man Vs. Rock: When you wear a Canadian Maple Leaf on your chest, you must be willing to accept the consequences.
Lisa: The dangers of snorting Pop Rocks are real.
Dog: I don’t think this guy was shot; his head just imploded due to the black hole at the base of his neck.
Detective Comics #46
Written by Peter J. Tomasi | Art by Chris Sotomayor
Dave: Invalid husbands around the world need to hide this from their wives.
Man Vs. Rock: Whatever. She’s willing to kill her sickly husband and herself for her baby… you should see what I’m willing to do a chalupa.
Lisa: Bite by bite, historians pieced together what they could about the Red Vines clan of the north.
Patrick H: ….well I don’t want this strawberry danish anymore. *hrrk*
Dog: John Carpenter’s “Nativity,” in theaters this Christmas!
Star Wars #11
Written by Jason Aaron | Art by Stuart Immonen
Patrick H: I feel like the Star Wars universe has an inordinate amount of bionic limbs/arms. There are maybe seven Jedi, but everyone is losing bits of them left and right. Forget crushing the rebellion, the Empire needs some OSHA.
Lisa: Imodium’s new mascot is a bit over the top.
Dave: I wasn’t afraid to get my first prostate exam until I heard this guy was doing the “routine” check up.
Man Vs. Rock: I bet none of Kongo the Disemboweler’s girlfriends ever used the “I’m too constipated to fool around” excuse.
Dog: Yeah, that’s what I call mine, too. Wait, what are we talking about?
Rick and Morty #7
Written by Zac Gorman | Art by CJ Cannon
Dave: Ferdinand loved deep throat, but couldn’t ever get it right.
Lisa: Slimer should really give up caffeine.
Patrick H: They’re going in a weird direction with the Ghostbusters reboot, but hey, if it means more Bill Murray, Slimer can ectoplasm stab whoever he wants.
Man Vs. Rock: “Don’t you dare look away Morty! Don’t you dare! I’m just about to finish and if you look away we’re gonna have to start all over again!”
Manifest Destiny #18
Written by Chris Dingess | Art by Matthew Roberts
Dave: They’ve taken Mr. Potato head too far!
Patrick H: Jesus Christ people. I just started getting into skinny jeans when they weren’t cool anymore, and now I have to buy batwings and tongue ties? I just don’t understand fashion.
Man Vs. Rock: I always wondered how Batman had sex…
Lisa: Apparently, even aliens have body image issues. I smell a new Dove campaign.
Written and Art by Keenan Keller
Dog: I figure this is what you saw at Woodstock if you took the brown acid.
Dave: Jeb Bush’s new campaign posters really make a Hillary future look bleak. Fun, but bleak.
Man Vs. Rock: You think that’s bad Dave, you should see his poster of what really happened at Benghazi…
Art Ops #1
Written by Shaun Simon | Mike Allred
Dave: High five or higher five?
Lisa: Cheerleading practice was especially tough for Tad that day.
Man Vs. Rock: “Okay okay! No more ‘Jazz Hands!’ You made your point …”
Patrick H: “Got your nose!” “GOT YOUR ARM AND THREE GALLONS OF BLOOD, SKINBAG!
…”I don’t want to play anymore.”