They say 7 is a holy number but there isn’t anything holy about PiPT. Check out our 7th edition of 2016:
༽つ۞﹏۞༼つ What the F am I looking at? WTF of the week 😱
Head Lopper #3
Written and Drawn by Andrew Maclean | Color by Mike Spicer
Publisher: Image Comics
Dave: Sex toys are getting way more complex these days.
Dog: When Koosh balls are touched by the Allspark.
Patrick!: “So then, the ass head of the blue scorpion spits… get it? Spits on the black guy who totally looks like my old roommate in ….” Disney Executives: “We’ll be in touch.”
👙Let’s talk about sex…baby? Sexytime of the week 🏩
Black Canary #9
Written by Guillem March | Art by Moritat
Publisher: DC Comics
Russ Broken wrist and trampled nuts notwithstanding — at least hackneyed pimp-suit wearing dude got a full Legend of Zelda jar’s worth of whiskey out of the encounter.
Also… Black Canary is an asshole.
Patrick!: What you can’t see in the middle panel, is where he starts telling her about gamergate, and how it’s about ethics in gaming journalism. So, overall, her reaction seems pretty tame.
Dave: With those heels he might just be a eunuch now.
Dog: The “KRAK” sound seems to indicate he had prosthetics alreay.
Lords of the Jungle #1
Written by Corinna Bechko | Art by Roberto Castro
Publisher: Dynamite Entertainment
Dave: Can’t you count?! We blew the first charge bud, there’s a refractory period until we can do the second charge.
Patrick!: The jungle girl doing incredible flips is one thing, but her loincloth holding in her coconuts is the real super-hero.
Russ: Apparently the bottom flap is Elmer’s glued to her asscheeks as well, considering her doing full front flips and what not. Or maybe it’s that “special tape” J-Lo used at the 42nd Grammys to keep that peacock dress on.
Dog: I hear in the controversial second arc, our heroine fights the hordes of Drag Queen Nation, coming for her mystical fabric tape reserves.
💉 Is that blood? Gore of the week 💀
Leaving Megalopolis: Surviving Megalopolis #3
Written by Gail Simone | Art by J. Calafiore
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Dave: So basically the MBTA everyday?
Dog: Ticket prices quickly rose from “outrageous” to “arm and a leg” to “spleen carried off by carnivores.”
Patrick!: *krrrsshhh* “Next Stop is Wonderland, doors open on the right. Passengers please refrain from eating on the train as the murderwolves will feast on your corpses. This is a North Station Train.”
All-New X-Men #6
Written by Dennis Hopeless | Art by: Mark Bagley
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Russ: Now light Blob’s fat ass on fire for a roasted marshmallow rivaled only by Stay-Puft in size.
Patrick!: So, can someone give me a tally on the number of times Warren’s wings have been destroyed/turned to fire/turned to metal at this point? It’s got to be up there with Jean dropping dead.
Dave: Maybe Warren should do more flying and less gritting teeth and looking at Blob angrily.
Dog: “Well that explains your sinkhole problem. All your three quarter inch rebar is in some fat guy’s eye instead of the floor.”
Deadpool & The Mercs for Money #2
Written by: Gerry Duggan | Art by: Salva Espiin
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Dog: I was gonna say, “Through a mutually agreed-upon fee schedule not to exceed 10% of net total income.” Jeez!
Dad Joke Generator: Nobody nose… the trouble I nose!
Dave: If all nose jobs were done this way I’d suspect Katniss Everdeen would be much more realistic in real life settings.
Patrick!: TWO ROB LIEFELD CHARACTERS FIGHT! ONLY ONE HAS ANY COMMERCIAL VIABILITY! Also, who in the sweet hell holds a bow like that? There is literally no way this works.