Monthly POP: Panels of Purpose–February 2017

Every last Friday of the month we’ll be showcasing our favorite and most striking Panels of the month. We call it “Panels of Purpose” and while we may make jokes, these are panels you should hold in the highest regard!

Earth 2: Society #21

Written by Dan Abnett | Art by Vicente Cifuentes
Publisher: DC Comics

Dave: No matter the universe Batman’s spine will skrunnnchhh!

Chris: Wow, on Earth 2, Harambe’s an asshole.

Patrick: For someone that’s prepared for everything, Batman seems a little light in the “back-protection” area.

Lisa: This is why I have a fear of chiropractors.

Dog: Yeah, “villainous chiropractor” is kind of redundant. I now await Batman’s grueling throwdown with Homeopathic Henry.

Wonder Woman #16

Written by Greg Rucka | Art by Bilquis Evely
Publisher: DC Comics

Dave: In 7 panels, we learn Wonder Woman’s activities in one oh-so beautiful page.

Lisa: This is a fantastic compilation. Very clever use of the stars, the lasso and snake tail to denote boundaries around each scene.

Dog: Striking, but also the real reason Ringling Brothers had to close.

Alyssa: Does this remind anyone else of a tampon commercial? “You need a tampon that can keep up with you!”

Patrick: Yeah, I can’t unsee it now, Alyssa. “Crafted from the golden fleece, Argonaut Tampons live … and protect, forever!”

Justice League #14

Written and Drawn by Bryan Hitch
Publisher: DC Comics

Dave: So Batman gets his ideas from Star Wars now? Jesus Christ, he’s totally checked out.

Chris: Someone needs to remind Batman Disney owns Star Wars and MARVEL, not DC.

Dog: No Chris, what you don’t see here is, like, this is the only way Bryan Hitch can tell us it’s all connected, man! Like, Marvel, DC, Star Wars, we’re all owned by the same masters, man. The Illuminati isn’t just for Iron Man, man! NWOMJ12MKULTRADONTSUBMIT

Patrick: Going out on a limb here – but the Justice League Christmas Roast Party issue would be amazing. You have Batman standing there looking uncomfortable, Hugh Hefner there, for reasons even he doesn’t understand, and Flash refilling the drinks. Instant best seller.

Green Lanterns #17

Written by Sam Humphries | Art by Eduardo Pansica
Publisher: DC Comics

Dog: Funny, I get something distinctly different when I Google “Bad Batman.”

Chris: Scarecrow doesn’t realize we’ve all survived Batman v. Superman. What could be scarier?

Patrick: Scarecrow as a Lantern is stupid. I’ve said it. There are how many billions of worlds in the galaxy, and the rings all manage to come to one little provincial backwater planet? Total horseshit.

Dave: Can Batman stop fake news? Find out next month on Fear News::cough::I mean Fox News, kids.

Nick: Whoever they’ve got running Breitbart now looks even rougher than Steve Bannon.

Totally Awesome Hulk #16

Written by Greg Pak | Art by Mahmud Asrar
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Dave: Possibly the coolest looking sound effect ever.

Dog: Because it put giant, circular boobs on the Hulk?

Nick: That’s the same auto-flushing sound the toilets in Walmart make (when I’m done with them, anyway).

Birthright #22

Written by Joshua Williamson | Art and Cover by Adriano Lucas, Andrei Bressan
Publisher: Image Comics

Dave: The new Disney Little Mermaid took the Zack Snyder approach I see.

Nick: No way Snyder would have a scene like this take place in the daytime.

Lisa: Farewell and adieu to you, Spanish Ladies. Farewell and adieu to you, ladies of Spain.

Dog: Thank God Hydro-Man was there to cup her breasts; little Timmy might have seen nipples before he was gruesomely devoured!

Divinity III: Shadowman and the Battle of New Stalingrad #1

Written by Scott Bryan Wilson | Art by Robert Gill
Publisher: Valiant Entertainment

Dave: Every superhero universe needs a zombie dinosaur rider. Note it!

Dog: The Walking Dead episode that finally breaks Nick.

Lisa: I said: No food or water after midnight!

Captain America: Steve Rogers #11

Written by Nick Spencer | Art by Jesus Saiz
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Chris: Captain America: “Well, there were all those times you tried to kill me. What was up with that, man?”

Dave: Sometimes arch-enemies just need to hug it out.

Jason: I can’t be the only one imagining K-Ci and JoJo’s “All My Life” playing during this scene.

Patrick “NOW KITH”

Dog: “I wish I knew how to quit you.”

Nick: *slap bass begins to play*

Aquaman #16

Written by Dan Abnett | Art by Brad Walker
Publisher: DC Comics

Dog: In Batman #621, the Caped Crusader continues his quest to quell pseudoscience when he swims upstream against — THE AQUATELEPATH!!!

Dave: And in 2017, Aquaman finally started rebranding. Don’t ask what he calls underwater flatulence.

Patrick: Guys. It’s been what – 60 years? Aquaman ain’t happening. Let’s just put him in the background of the Justice League books, feeding the fish or looking at the fish tank with a weird expression, and make Mr. Terrific the star he should be, OK? (minus the dumb new 52 costume).

Midnighter and Apollo #5

Written by Steve Orlando | Art by Fernando Blanco
Publisher: DC Comics

Dave: The eye can stay.

Nick: The name of the column may change, but the gratuitous eye gore remains.

Dog: At this point, we’ve got enough to populate the next Mortal Kombat game with “Eyeballity” finishers.

Planetoid: Praxis #1

Written by and Drawn by Ken Garing
Publisher: Image Comics

Dave: While space art is grotesque, it’s still art, so respect it!

Patrick: Game of Thrones season 7 is getting a little farther away from the source material than I’m comfortable with.

Infamous Iron Man #4

Written by Brian Michael Bendis | Art by Alex Maleev
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Chris: Dammit, Betsy DeVos!

Dog: “Art school. Doom will bathe in the disappointed tears of your parents, BWAHAHAHAHA!”

Patrick: Doom’s come a long way. In the past, he would have vaporized them for talking back. Now he’ll just glower, and WHERE THE HELL DOES THE CLOAK GO IN SOME PANELS??!?

All-New X-Men #18

Written by Dennis Hopeless | Art by Mark Bagley
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Dave: And yet, Magneto continues to reign Bootylicious supreme!

Jason: Nightcrawler: “Your scary could use a little work?”
Magneto: Look, I’ve been doing this since the 40s, they can’t all be winners.

Dog: “I’m sorry, it’s just — I’ve been watching a lot of RuPaul’s Drag Race, okay? They didn’t make them like that in the old country.”

Civil War II: The Oath

Written by Nick Spencer | Art by Rod Reis
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Dave: America in 2018 looks fun.

Dog: I always knew sobriety checkpoints were fascist. I drive BETTER when I’ve had a few! *hiccup*

Chris: Dog, are you writing POP captions under the influence? I’m telling Hydra…

The Clone Conspiracy #4

Written by Dan Slott | Art by Jim Cheung
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Chris: Meanwhile, at Disney…

Dave: Princess Leia or no deal!

Patrick: I totally thought “tour of the chocolate factory” was a come on/euphemism for a hot second. “Wanna see where I keep my Oompa Loompas?”

Dog: “Here, put on an animal-themed Eyes Wide Shut mask and follow me.”

Inhumans Vs. X-Men #4

Written by Charles Soule and Jeff Lemire | Art by Javier Garron
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Dave: Regardless of powers, every character’s true enemy is bladder control.

Chris: Magneto’s like 80! Cut him some slack!

Dog: “I was just watching RuPaul’s Drag Race, sooooo ….”

Patrick: follow up question – why is Logan sucking his finger in response?

Justice League / Power Rangers #2

Written by Tom Taylor | Art by Stephen Byrne
Publisher: DC Comics and BOOM! Studios

Dave: Batman has to be the only hero who can say that.

Patrick: This book is actually kind of decent. Well it was … until my 3 year old asked me to read it to him 16 times … we had to hide it…

Dog: I wish I could’ve heard your Pink Ranger, Patrick.