Monthly POP: Panels of Purpose–March 2017

Three months into the new year and the comic market is healthy. We’ve made it through another event (Monsters Unleashed) and lived to tell about it. As always, check out our favorite panels of the month which may include the most eye-catching too.

U.S. Avengers #4

Written by Al Ewing | Art by Paco Medina
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Dave: Freedom isn’t free unless it’s being screamed from a 50-ton dinosaur!

Cam: For as many connected movie universes as there are, I would personally put an irresponsible amount of money into funding a USA Godzilla/King Kong/Deadpool movie.

Patrick: I don’t get out of bed for giant monsters in the Marvel Universe, unless they’re wearing purple undies like Fin Fang Foom. Please see Nextwave for the greatest depiction of this ever.

Dog:Jackie Earle Haley as Zack Snyder’s Riddler seems to enjoy it.

Superman #19

Written by Peter J. Tomasi | Art by Patrick Gleason
Publisher: DC Comics

Dave: If Superman is John and Lois is Yoko does that make Mr. Mxyzptlk Ringo?

Cam:Come on, we all know Lois is John to Superman’s Paul, and Mxyzptlk is Ringo, off in an Octopus’s Garden.

Chris: The Superior Octopus’s Garden?

Patrick: First off – Superman is totally a Paul. Batman is John. Cam is spot on. Martian Manhunter is George. Ringo is NO ONE FUCKING CARES. HE’S THE DRUMMER. AND NOT EVEN THE ORIGINAL ONE.

Cam: Is Aquaman Ringo?….Aquaman is Ringo, isn’t he?

Lisa: I am still hung up on the little man that escaped from Wonka’s factory. Security must be lax these days.

Mother Panic #4

Written by Jody Houser | Art by Shawn Crystal
Publisher: DC Comics

Cam: Ugh, always love a good onomatopoeia integration into a scene. Really demonstrates what comics can do that so few other art forms can.

Dog: The word itself exploding is a nice touch.

Dave: Noooo, not the explosion sign museum! You bastards, you blew it up!

Sex Criminals #17

Written by Matt Fraction | Art by Chip Zdarsky
Publisher: Image Comics

Dave: I imagine “fuck-smurfs” are just a way of life on communes.

Dog: So neurologically, we all look like Charles Barkley? (I’m guessing on the genitalia. I mean, I’ve hard stories.)

Patrick: Oh for christ’s sake…The best part? David actually pinged me to make sure I commented on this. The worst part – how left out I would have felt, not being able to type “fuck-smurfs” and crossing that one off the ol’ bucket list.

Spider-Man Clone Conspiracy Omega

Written by Dan Slott, Peter David, Christos Gage | Art by Mark Bagley, Stuart Immonen, Cory Smith
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Patrick: Can someone buy Connors a god-damn sweater or something? That lab-coat is getting ragged at this point.

Chris: The Lizard loves two things: His family and Christmas lights.

Cam: I love this particular coat, because it has some structure to the shoulders. Turns out, his next evil plan is a line of Men’s fashion, and he’s seen here modeling the new Lab-Blazer.

Cam: Also, I have contradict you a little Patrick, but I would have to compliment him on how immaculate that coat is. When did he have time to stop by the dry cleaners?

Dog: He sheds it and grows a new one every six months.

Patrick: He licks it clean Cam. Also, you can’t see the huge ring around the tail at the back.

Dave: I really hope Connor doesn’t tip.

Wonder Woman #18

Written by Greg Rucka | Art by Bilquis Evely
Publisher: DC Comics

Dave: Gives new meaning to, “Wipe that smirk off your face!”

Patrick: “Ok honey, have fun sitting there and not staring at anything! Dinner’s in the fridge, but you don’t have a mouth so … well … um … gotta go to work!!!”

Jason: This looks like the storyboard for an antidepressant ad. Once that little girl pops a zoloft she’ll be smiling and pointing at random crap throughout the Air and Space Museum.

Dog: Look I’m not saying Dick Tracy isn’t ready for a cinematic universe, but I don’t think a Blank prequel is the right way to kick it off.

Deadpool #28

Written by Gerry Duggan | Art by Salvador Espin
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Dave: I’d like to think Cap always hangs out with his shirt off, Hydra or no.

Patrick: IS DOMINO HANGING OUT WITH MACHINE MAN? Two Nextwave references in one PoP!

Chris: This actually sets up Marvel’s next event: “Mr. Sinister Texts the Marvel Universe.”

Dog: “After the world’s heroes see 150-year-old, genetically-altered dick pics, NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME!!@@#@!!@1”

Unworthy Thor #5

Written by Jason Aaron | Art by Olivier Coipel
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Dog: When did Richard Dawkins start writing comics?

Chris: Typo in there. “Gore was right,” as in Al Gore.

Cam: Looks like Magento has some competition in Hot Topic for “hipster-ist t-shirt quote”

Dave: And to think all these years I thought he said, “Hillary’s emails.”

Jason: So at what point do they just admit that they never really had an idea of why Thor was unworthy of Mjolnir?

Patrick: Does Thor look like he’s about 4 foot 4 and 390 lbs in that panel in the middle there? Is he unworthy because he’s been hitting the Little Debbie cakes?

Wonder Woman #18

Written by Greg Rucka | Art by Bilquis Evely
Publisher: DC Comics

Dave: Wow, she had that name picked out and everything.

Cam: She’s playn’ like “whhaat am I…?”, but the whole time in her head “Mrs. Cyber… Captain Cyber. Cyber Girl…. No, definitely not that… Come Adrianna, if you nail this it’s gonna be EPIC”

Patrick: As soon as she gets connected to the net, somewhere a fan fiction site will lose all of it’s DoCtOr CyBeR posts. Make sure she covers her old username’s tracks.

Dog: Oh God, more prequels. Dr. Cyber is the villain of the Johnny Mnemonic reboot, isn’t she?

Batman #18

Written by Tom King | Art by David Finch
Publisher: DC Comics

Dave: Forget shark repellent, Batman needs back-breaking repellent.

Chris: Once you’ve had your back broken by the same guy TWICE, it’s time to start thinking about a new career.

Jason: Really missed a chance to make the “I’m not wearing hockey pads!” joke.

Cam: I’ll give Bane this, he’s loyal to his brand. He has his move, he knows how to do, he knows that it. Gets. Results. I respect that.

Patrick: Is Bane’s superpower that he can break spines? We get it already. Can we move on? What other ‘90s bullshit is still hanging around? It’s not like we’re going to kill Superm–ah, son of a bitch.

Nightwing #16

Written by Tim Seeley | Art by Javier Fernandez
Publisher: DC Comics

Cam: “…The GIRL pees on the stick!”

Dog: “A pickles and ice cream craving. I should have known.”

Patrick: Damien is going to be a real fun kid at college.

Dave: Damian thinks Dick is a fool for even allowing her to get far enough to do a test. You always flee town god!

Green Arrow #16

Written by Benjamin Percy | Art by Eleonora Carlini
Publisher: DC Comics

Cam: My favorite part of living in 1996 is that all of our heroes wear rad, backwards hats. God, I love living in the ‘90s.

Dog: I bet he eats at Pizza Hut and drinks a lot of Surge.

Patrick: Jesus H. I was kidding! ENOUGH ‘90S BULLSHIT … wait. What if for the Deadpool movie they make Cable have so many pouches he can’t even walk or put his arms down like the kid brother in A Christmas Story? SOMEONE GET ME REYNOLDS ON THE PHONE!

Dave: To think we all thought Ollie was innocent, but the arrow pointed at him all along!

IvX #6

Written by Charles Soule & Jeff Lemire | Art by Leinil Francis Yu
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Cam: And an even harder time finding the right material for her Cyclops helmet. Like that balance between “page accurate” and “can see through it” is always tough

Chris: Emma Frost: Cosplayer – Coming soon from Marvel Comics.

Jason: Emma’s history of practical costume choices continues unabated. Lets see. So flimsy as to provide no protection from attack or the elements? Bulky, sight-and mental-power obscuring helmet? Studded with little red spikes to show that she’s a bad guy? Was Cam right? Is it the 90s?

Patrick: I love that Old Man Logan depictions are either = Bad ass old Clint Eastwood Wolvie or 65-Year-Old Lost In Hardware Store and Can’t Find His Car Keys.

Dave: Old Man Logan could totes be played by Tim Allen.

Doom Patrol #5

Written by Gerard Way | Art by Nick Derington
Publisher: DC Comics

Patrick: Dave made fun of me for admitting I don’t have any idea what the hell happens in this book. I still stand by that statement.

Dog: You don’t know about Eternian marsupial mucous-assisted therapeutic touch? Guess it’s a good thing that health care bill failed.

Dave: Pat, you’ve never seen a lube fanny pack? Amateur!

Patrick: See this people? This is the level of discourse here at AIPT. At least it’s not complaining about fuck-smurfs.

Spider-Man Clone Conspiracy Omega

Written by Dan Slott, Peter David, Christos Gage | Art by Mark Bagley, Stuart Immonen, Cory Smith
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Chris: Spider-Man’s first and last day as a waiter.

Cam: At least the service is decent. No wait time.

Dog: “I am SO sick of the ‘fly in my soup’ gag!”

Dave: In all honesty, Spidey is saving Fisk’s life here. One more dinner mint and…

Patrick: So Kingpin is 18 feet tall and weighs 7,000 lbs? Li’l tough on the perspective here, guys.

American Gods #1

Written by Neil Gaiman, P. Craig Russell | Art by Scott Hampton
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics

Dave: Who needs an exclamation point when you can show your true emphatic nature via flaming throat words?

Patrick: You know how Wendy’s advertising says they use fresh never frozen beef? Well…now you know how they do that…*urk*

Spider-Man #25

Written by DAN SLOTT, CHRISTOS GAGE, HANNAH BLUMENREICH,
CALE ATKINSON, JACOB CHABOT, JAMES ASMUS
Art by STUART IMMONEN, GIUSEPPE CAMUNCOLI, TODD NAUCK, HANNAH BLUMENREICH,
CALE ATKINSON, RAY ANTHONY HEIGHT, TANA FORD
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Chris: Yo, Peter! Did you not read Civil War II? Maybe don’t ask out Hawkeye’s ex-wife – dude’s dangerous!

Patrick: GET. BACK. TOGETHER. WITH. GOD. DAMN. MJ. ALREADY.

Chris: MJ’s busy appearing on every Marvel cover, Patrick.

Cam: Hey ghurl, I was just watching you sleep for a while, and I was- oh sorry, you jus- Ok, now that you’re awake, I was just thinking….”

Dave: What happened to the windows in the bottom panel?