Someone always has to be that guy. No matter how beloved a film, book or piece of art is, someone will be there to remind you how wrong you are for liking it and how much it actually sucks.

Opening in the U.S. today, Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2 is currently sitting pretty at 86% Fresh on the review-aggregating website Rotten Tomatoes, but that can’t stop some chipper, surely-fun-at-parties movie reviewers from giving it the business.

Culled from Rotten Tomatoes and presented for your enjoyment, AiPT! has collected the best of the worst reviews of GotG2, proving the old adage that if you can’t say anything nice, say something outrageous enough to get noticed.

GOTG Vol.2 is very good at two things: laughing at its own perceived comic brilliance, and slo-mo sequences of characters walking forth to Fleetwood Mac or Cheap Trick. – Sunday Independent

It is effectively a wake in a candy shop, where nobody knows if they should be crying or getting giddy on sweets. – British GQ

At its worst, it comes across like a vulgar birthday party hosted by an indulgent billionaire for a hard-to-please stepchild. – The Irish Times

And the Grand Champion of this installment …

This is the film equivalent of when your uncle walks into the room with a Sonic Youth t-shirt on, and then under bemused interrogation, he admits to having no idea they were even a band – he just likes the design. – Little White Lies

Cheers to you, joyless contrarians! May your expectations never be met and your disappointment be registered to all!

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