Someone always has to be that guy. No matter how beloved a film, book or piece of art is, someone will be there to remind you how wrong you are for liking it and how much it actually sucks.

Opening in the U.S. today, Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2 is currently sitting pretty at 86% Fresh on the review-aggregating website Rotten Tomatoes, but that can’t stop some chipper, surely-fun-at-parties movie reviewers from giving it the business.

Culled from Rotten Tomatoes and presented for your enjoyment, AiPT! has collected the best of the worst reviews of GotG2, proving the old adage that if you can’t say anything nice, say something outrageous enough to get noticed.

GOTG Vol.2 is very good at two things: laughing at its own perceived comic brilliance, and slo-mo sequences of characters walking forth to Fleetwood Mac or Cheap Trick. – Sunday Independent

It is effectively a wake in a candy shop, where nobody knows if they should be crying or getting giddy on sweets. – British GQ

At its worst, it comes across like a vulgar birthday party hosted by an indulgent billionaire for a hard-to-please stepchild. – The Irish Times

And the Grand Champion of this installment …

This is the film equivalent of when your uncle walks into the room with a Sonic Youth t-shirt on, and then under bemused interrogation, he admits to having no idea they were even a band – he just likes the design. – Little White Lies

Cheers to you, joyless contrarians! May your expectations never be met and your disappointment be registered to all!

  • Steve Baum

    Let’s not forget CBR’s crustiest movie reviewer Kristy Puchko as she once again displays her strange distaste for anything fun:

    “The plot is a nebulous thing that barely supports a slurry of spaceship chases, whirling battle scenes and slippery escapes. Bouncing between the fractured factions of the Guardians and their frenemies, this sequel can’t keep up with its characters, even with a bloated runtime of 2 hours and 17 minutes.”

    I’m still trying to work out how to turn her predictably dour reviews into some sort of drinking game.

    • Morse

      Again, the movie being fun isn’t a reson for it being a GOOD movie; I enjoyed the hell out bvs but I accept that it was a very weak movie.
      So overall, your comment and this whole review is more like you guys telling people their not allowed to criticize the movie just because YOU had fun with it

  • Morse

    I can’t understand this article? I haven’t seen a single reviewer who is criticizing this movie and actively telling people they are not allowed to enjoy this movie or they are wrong about enjoying it, there are only people arguing this movie is not good, so no one is telling you to stop enjoying