Being a single geek is easy … said no single geek ever.
No, just hear us out for a second. Say you’re a die-hard Wednesday Warrior, who also happens to be single. You don’t have to worry about what a non-geek girlfriend thinks about you spending your Wednesday evening reading the night away. Or, if you’re a single avid gamer, you can spend your weekend playing a new game, rather than dealing with a boyfriend who hasn’t touched a video game since high school.
Here at AiPT!, we know how great being a geek can be. But we also realize not everyone has made peace with their inner geek – yes, even potential romantic partners. But fear not, we happen to have a few romantics on staff who want to help you introduce your partner to your geek passion.
One of us. One of us. One of us. Err, I mean, onto the tips!
Start small. Give them that one thing you think they’d be into the most, let them consume it on their own time, then ramp up the intake.
My one tip is to simply introduce it so that you both can share whatever it is together. Make it about the experience of enjoying it together and they’re bound to at least respect it as you’re asking them to take part in something you are passionate about. Even if they don’t like it, you made it about a shared experience rather than forcing it on them.
I second what Dave said. Introduce things with the context that you love them and think your partner might like them too. Don’t force it, but if they check it out and end up liking it, you could then offer more suggestions similar to the original one. And don’t just give, but take. My boyfriend and I tell each other about different series we like, and then trade copies. He got me into Batwoman; I got him into New X-Men. Make it an experience you share with your partner in the hopes you can bond over mutual interests.
I think while all the above advice is great, I think the most important thing is to be flexible and not let your feelings get hurt. A few years ago, when I tried to introduce my wife to Dungeons and Dragons, it did NOT go well: too many rules, too much downtime, too structured. It was a bit disappointing, but I was glad she gave it a try and accepted it isn’t her thing.
Flash-forward to a few months ago, after a great first session with some friends that I hosted. My wife had overheard the fun we were having and asked to join. Of course, she was welcome. So, with her previous bad experience in mind, I’ve tried to remove as much friction as possible so she could get to the parts that she enjoyed. Doing things like making her character, telling her what to roll, and accommodating her less-structured style are a bit more work for me, but being able to share something I love with my wife, and having her enjoy it too, is totally worth being flexible.
When we first started dating, my girl was a sort-of geek. Now, we catch every comic book movie on opening weekend, I buy her Hawkeye issues monthly and we often play board games together. And it started with something silly.
The Super Hero Squad trading card game! It was the only Marvel card game on the market at the time, so if I wanted to get any kind of cardboard fix, it would have to be from chibi characters in this children’s game.
She thought it was cute, so when we actually got to see each other (only on the weekends), I’d bring Super Hero Squad over and we’d play a few games. It became a regular part of our relationship, to the point where she gave me the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received on one occasion — a customized, wooden box to store the cards.
The rest, as they say, is history!______________________
So there you have it. If you’ve been putting off introducing your partner to the geekier side of life, maybe it’s time to try one or more of these tips.
And remember: If they’re not down with something you’re passionate about, they’re probably not worth your time. You can do better.