We take convention coverage seriously here at AiPT! We are NOT a compliant media partner to any company. No fluff here, only the hardest hitting, investigate journalism.

While the other guys are napping, we bring you the stories that matter. Only here will you get the important news that helps you differentiate extraterrestrials from delectables.

Because today at Marvel’s House of Ideas panel, digital media mavens Lorraine Cink and Ryan Penagos debuted the most brain-busting game you didn’t know you needed until now. “Alien Race or Cheese?” answers the question on all our minds, as contestants were presented with a strange-sounding word and invited to determine if it represented a real-life dairy product, or a group of space beings from the Marvel Universe.

AiPT! brings to you, IN ITS ENTIRETY, the results of this groundbreaking, one-of-a-kind contest.

Danba never menaced the Guardians of the Galaxy, it is a semi-soft cheese from Denmark.

You don’t spread Kodabak on crackers, it is a humanoid pig race from the Grosgumbique star system.

Arquindae isn’t fermented, it’s a large land animal from Sakaar.

Trizelle sounds like it would pair with red wine, but would you eat a three-legged Sakaaran beast with your Burgundy?!

Carillon was identified as an alien race, but it is actually a PLANET from Marvel Preview #15. SNOPES GOT NOTHING ON AIPT!

The Rodoric don’t work for Thanos, unless he’s animated unpasteurized milk from Belgium!

Gevaltu is ALSO a planet, House of Ideas! This game is rigged!

No, the Khoa are not a Shi’ar bird race, you dolt, it is obviously a low moisture milk product from India!

Everyone knows the Cotati are a telepathic plant race from Hala. Don’t patronize us.

Paneer is also an Indian cheese? Book my flight! Good with sauteed Cotati!

Domiati is from Egypt! NO, they are NOT celestial caretakers of Apocalpse, it is made from BUFFALO milk!

If I have to tell you what the Brood are, you’re kicked off the internet.

Vegans? What’s with the softballs, Lorraine? Trying to cover the spread? FIXED

The Catupiry don’t have adorable whiskers and chase yarn in space, but it is spread on toast in Brazil.

There was also stuff about comiXology digital original comics Immortal Iron Fists and Thor vs. Hulk (by Jeremy Whitley, also a panelist), writing great Frank Tieri driving a cab, and a superhero charades contest with editor Alanna Smith that saw Nick Lowe remove his trademark glasses! Check our Twitter for more on that.

Who could it be???