A History of The Goon (Through Its Most Despicable Panels): Part 2

Welcome to the second part of a special Goon edition of Panels In Poor Taste. Click here if you missed part one.

Our first edition started with Goon Vol. 1 #1 up until Volume 3 #18. Now, behold the most loathsome panels up until the latest Goon issue, Vol 3. #43.

Note: All art and writing by Goon creator Eric Powell. Colors by Dave Stewart or Eric/Robin Powell

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Goon Vol. 3 #18

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Dave: What could be worse than clowns? Midget clowns with sharp teeth that’s what!

Sean: Ah clowns, society’s proof that we all secretly hate children, and delight in terrifying them.

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Goon Vol. 3 #19

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Dave: Just to clarify that’s Oprah’s head exploding from the pressure of a shitting Peaches Valentine. All due to her rabid fascination with The Secret.

Sean: Proof The Secret really is retarded.

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Goon Vol. 3 #21 (Pick 1)

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Dave: Lesson learned: never fall in love with a velveteen horsey. They tear too easily.

Sean: Hence why Franky is so mean now.

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Goon Vol. 3 #21 (Pick 2)

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Dave: Nothing worse than fighting a tranny hooligan. Too much leg strength!

Sean: At least she dressed up, made an effort.

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Goon Vol. 3 #25

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Dave: Look at that tutu, that poor thing just wants to dance!

Sean: Lady Gaga, the early years.

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Goon Vol 3 #28

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Dave: More animal brutality from Eric Powell. PETA must love him. Everybody knows ain’t nobody will sleep with a mule unless it has a purdy face!

Sean: Never sock a whore mule in the mouth.

Russ: Well, now I know how to properly express my feelings for next year’s Valentine’s Day card. Thanks Sean.

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Goon Vol. 3 #29

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Dave: The fact that Goon treats a werewolf kid as if he’s an animal is kind of disturbing. Scroll down to see just how bad it gets…

Sean: Yeah, The Goon is pretty much a consistent animal abuser. And that’s no joke. Except it’s usually very funny.

Russ: Can we make this the script for Teen Wolf 3 starring Will Smith’s kid? Sorry Will, Jaden’s gotta pay his dues.

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Goon Vol. 3 #30

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Dave: I’d hate to see how these kids treat a real canine. Yeesh.

Sean: Ah, kids. They are pure, unadulterated, evil.

Russ: I’m more curious about that “Momma in heaven roostin’ on the telephone pole” line. That must have been one nimble woman.

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Goon Vol. 3 #32

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Dave: Ah women: just another object for men to eye fondle.

Sean: Honey, just be glad you aren’t a mule.

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Goon Vol 3. #34

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Dave: Considering Powell went to great lengths to comment on Twilight you have to give him props for making the real monster in all of this the tweeners. They sure are hideous in their true form:

Sean: As I remember it, that’s a pretty accurate representation of teenage girls. I did take a lot peyote in high school though, so that might have had something to do with it.

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Goon Vol. 3 #35

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Dave: Midgets of All Nations has a good ring to it. DC and Marvel…make this happen. I want to see a Justice League or Avengers vs. Midgets of All Nations summer event pronto!

Sean: It’s a small god damn world after all!

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Goon Vol. 3 #36 (Pick 1)

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Dave: In case it wasn’t obvious enough Franky was peeing on this lady, she has to scream out she’s being urinated on. Classy.

Sean: Not a comic until there’s some water sports.

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Goon Vol. 3 #36 (Pick 2)

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Dave: Well those are only a few ways an honest woman can make a buck these days.

Sean: Truly, a role model for all young women.

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Goon Vol. #39 (Pick 1)

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Dave: In a sweepingly refreshing take on superhero comics Eric Powell spares no expense to show us why artists draw what they do. For instance here, original pencils of sexy shots sell at so much higher rates!

Sean: Hey kids, parents got a block on your computer so you can’t see sexy stuff. Just buy a superhero comic. Just remember to leave a protective plastic sleeve over it.

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Goon Vol. 3 #39 (Pick 2)

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Dave: There’s a super fine line that makes a girl wholesome. Sadly that line is crossed with too much or not enough church everyday. The Pope has a lot of work cut out for him.

Sean: That’s an alarming percentage of horse porn.

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Goon Vol 3. #40 (Pick 1)

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Dave: I don’t know what’s more disturbing, the man who’s going to bang that goat, or the goat’s frighteningly human face.

Sean:Maybe that’s what those goats in the youtube videos are shouting about.

“Raaaaaaaaaaaaape.”

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Goon Vol 3. #40 (Pick 2)

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Dave: It only takes one goat loving pervert….crying shame.

Sean: I never noticed the amount of bestiality in The Goon. Hawt.

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Goon Vol 3. #40 (Pick 3)

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Dave: Think of all the other dances out there and how they affect women. The Harlem Shake and its effect on sphincters, the dougie and its effect on urinary tracts….the list goes on!

Sean: I lost my last wife to the Charleston! Damn that old man!

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Goon Vol 3. #41

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Dave: The monster was gross enough all on its own, but to have the mothers foot and bloody umbilical cord in the same panel? Disgustingly in poor taste.

Sean: Ugliest god damn monkey I’ve ever seen.

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Goon Vol 3. #42

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Dave: That is one sloppy stool sample.

Sean: The whole piece of fried chicken, hot dog, and flower are a nice touch.

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Goon Vol. 3 #43

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Dave: You’d think the random face in the baby’s torso would be gross enough but the added orifices really even out the horror.

Sean:

This is why I don’t want children.

That completes our 56 picks from the entire Goon archives!

This article pique your interest for The Goon? Start with The Goon Volume 1: Nothin but Misery (2nd edition) (Goon (Numbered)) and see where it all began.