Inspired by this article in USA Today ranking NFL quarterbacks by their Google Autocomplete results, I decided to give the same treatment to everybody’s favorite sports entertainers. Everyone uses Google, and ostensibly the suggestions generated by Autocomplete are an aggregate of the most searched terms relating to the WWE Superstars in question, so in theory we should be able to get a clear picture of what the hivemind truly thinks of them.
Here are the rules: I picked ten WWE Superstars, some past icons who still pop up now and then, some Indy darlings and beloved up-and-comers, and some of the most popular Superstars of today. For every search, I merely typed “[Superstar’s Name] is” and screenshotted the Autocomplete suggestions. The screenshots were not altered in any way. So without further ado, let’s take a look at some of the world’s most burning opinions and questions regarding some of the top names in WWE history.
John Cena
It’s a little concerning how many people think that John Cena is dead, considering that his smiling mug has shown up on almost every live broadcast of Raw in the past eleven years. Don’t you think WWE would inform us of his untimely demise? I mean, if Chris Be— erm…I mean, the referee that absconded with the World Heavyweight Championship in the one on one, nothing more, match between Triple H and Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 20 got a memorial show dedicated to him, surely the leader of Cenation himself would get similar treatment.
Or did Stevie Richards win that match? I can’t remember for some reason.
The other thoughts really aren’t anything the WWE Universe doesn’t sardonically chant at him on a weekly basis (love that “IS HE MARRIED? ::clap clap clapclapclap::” chant).
CM Punk
The first two results for CM Punk are memes based on him, which is actually pretty telling regarding Punk’s popularity. He truly is the first wrestler to cross into the mainstream in quite some time.
He’s also an overrated jerk.
Dean Ambrose
Ambrose has seemingly got it all: He’s crazy, he’s hot (but is he crazy hot?) and the future of THIS BUSINESS. Too bad he’s so overrated.
Dolph Ziggler
I’m starting to sense a pattern here. Is it possible that every wrestler is overrated?
…Is pro wrestling itself overrated? Am I overrated? Are you?
Shawn Michaels
I guess no matter how many Jesus pieces you rock later on in life, you never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Zack Ryder
Poor Zack Ryder. I bet if I did this article two years ago, Zack Ryder would be “amazing,” “hilarious,” and “the second coming of Christ.” But now he’s just an annoying, overrated jobber. Who is also somehow awesome.
Actually, that sounds about right.
“Stone Cold” Steve Austin
Seven for seven on the “overrated” train. And isn’t referring to a redneck as racist simply because he’s a redneck, in itself racist?
At least he’s better than The Rock. Speaking of…
The Rock
Really? The first question that pops into people’s minds when thinking of Dwyane is whether or not he likes a heaping helping of The People’s Strudel? He is huge, though. At least myself and Google’s anonymous algorithms can agree on that one.
The Miz
“The Miz is theme song.” Uhh…yeah, sure man. Whatever you say. He embodies the concept of a theme song. Unless American English has devolved to the point where possessive apostrophes are a complete mystery and “is” is for some reason being substituted instead.
Everything else checks out.
Daniel Bryan
The people have spoken. Just about every wrestler ever to lace up a pair of boots is severely overrated, most are jerks and/or jokes, some are pegged as flagrant homosexuals.
Except for one man.
Even in the deepest depths of the Internet, where complaints are a form of currency and liking or respecting anything or anyone is somehow considered a sign of weakness, there is one thing everyone can agree on. Be you man, woman or child; casual fan or the smarkiest of smarks who dress like Bray Wyatt on a daily basis; curious onlooker or veritable historian in the field of professional wrestling; there is one simple truth: Daniel Bryan is the greatest thing ever to happen to wrestling. YES! YES! YES!
(Well, he is overrated. But who isn’t?)
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