If finding the most vulgar, distasteful comic book panels every week is wrong… then Hell, we don’t want to be right.
Invincible Universe #7
Written by Phil Hester | Art by Gabe Eltaeb
Dave: So the dog ripped the arm off — but how can you rip something when flying at that velocity? Shouldn’t that have been more of an explosive thunk?
Jordan: No, Krypto! Bad dog! You let go of that man’s arm!
Russ: “After escaping Michael Vick’s dog fighting dungeon, Meatballs is out for revenge. And unlike that candy-ass Scruff McGruff, he’s really going to take a bite out of crime. Crotch-sniffing its way to a theater near you, Summer 2014.” — Don LaFontaine film trailer voice.
Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #1
Written by Matt Kindt | Art by Marco Rudy
Dave: Note to self: Never stick thumb and fingers into a Frankenstein’s stitched area. Yuck.
Sam: I’m more disturbed by that vest thing. Did Frankenstein have a coupon to Furry Kids Gap?
Forever Evil #2
Written by Geoff Johns | Art by David Finch
Dave: Now that’s what I call deep throating!
Jordan: Ugh. Where’s my hook cane so I can pull you off-stage?
Liberty Comics: A CBLDF Benefit Book #6
Written and drawn by Various artists.
Dave: Oh the humanity and its black bars of censorship! It appears it’s barely covering the filthy in this page.
Jordan: For being censor bars, they are doing an awful job at their work.
Sam: You guys are just too critical. There are hundreds of censor bars everyday who go out and risk their… something or others to keep inappropriate content from reaching the eyes of people worldwide. Have a little respect and a little more appreciation.
Dave: A lot to talk about here, but I want to point out the girl tied to the car who’s going to get a fire up her crotch. Yeesh. [Insert fire crotch joke].
Alex: Family Circus has gotten really dark lately.
Jordan: I always knew the war between DC and Marvel would infect the youth, but not on this level. The humanity!
Sam: My money is on the woman to the very right surviving. She has the proper running gear and is ready to go. You get extra preparedness points suburban-runner-mom!
The Witching Hour #1
Written and drawn by Various artists
Dave: When a rotting ghost is puking on you, the first thing to do is totally cop a feel. When in Rome right?!
Jordan: Huh, if it’s ghost puke, wouldn’t it technically just phase right through you?
Russ: Necrobulimophilic foreplay? Lovers of dead people that binge eat and purge? Eat it, Japan: We’re dirtier bastards than you.
Hinterkind #1
Written by Ian Edginton | Art by Francesco Trifogli
Dave: So does he have a fetish for dudes with no tails or is he just gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with that; I’m just not understanding the emotional impact of this moment.
Alex: I thought I would have fully understood puberty at this point in my life. Hot damn, I can’t wait until my vestigial tail starts to grow!
Fantomex Max #1
Written by Shawn Crystal | Art by Andrew Hope
Dave: Man, Eva (the robot spaceship) is such a jealous harlot.
Alex: As a collector of rare jokes and an amateur gynecologist I appreciate the Fallopian tube line a lot more than I should. I think I’m in love with his ship.
Russ: For the last damn time Alex, wearing a Dr. Howie Feltersnatch costume for Halloween doesn’t make you an amateur gynecologist.
Dave: I get it, the bad guys are super strong and can rip off heads, but what is with everyone in this comic having jam for blood?
Sam: In the future people have no respect for anything; I mean that is some pretty cool wallpaper and you got blood all over it!
Savage Wolverine #9
Written and Drawn by Jock
Dave: First rule of stabbing the ground when it bleeds. Taste it. Second rule, make sweet sweet love to it.
Jordan: This might go well with some toast, bub.
Batman: Black and White #2
Written and Drawn by Various artists.
Dave: Bad guys in Batman comics: Faces made of spaghetti since 2013.
Sam: Batman actually just popped all of Joker’s pimples with his elbow.
Caption Contest Winner From 9/27/2013: PenisMan!
Congratulations to PenisMan for winning. Also, congratulations for being the first and only superhero whose origin story we don’t want to know.
PenisMan: They look like penises. Duh.
This Week’s Panels in Poor Taste Caption Contest
Each week, we provide a panel in need of a caption. You, the reader, submit your caption in the comments section below, and AiPT readers vote for their favorite. The captions with the most upvotes will win, and your panel will appear in next week’s edition of Panels in Poor Taste.
Happy captioning!
Batman: Black and White #2
Enter your caption in the comments below!
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