Danger Girl: May Day #3
Written by Andy Hartnel | Art by John Royale
Dave: Even in flashback mode those chicks must be freezing. And yet…no nipples. Criminal.
Dog: Guest-starring Halle Berry and Michael Dorn as dead Jedis! The crossover event no one asked for!
Sean: Yeah Rihanna, explain it to Common.
Dog: That’s a much timelier reference. I didn’t understand any of it.
Grimm Tales of Terror #1
Written by Ralph Tedesco | Art by Antonio Bifulco
Dave: Sometimes when you think really really hard, this happens.
Dog: The gunshot somehow caused the lava chamber in his skull to erupt.
Chew: Warrior Chicken Poyo #1
Written and John Layman | Art by Rob Guillory
Dave: Once you Splutch you never go back. 5 out of 10 roosters agree.
Dog: Okay, I probably shouldn’t have bet on the mime over the champion cockfighting rooster, but the odds were a 1000-1!
Sean: That cock splutched with a vengeance.
Dave: Chickens playing too much Mortal Kombat. Sigh, clearly the Christian right were correct in blaming video games for ruining our chickens.
Dog: The fist pump by kryptonite-staff Merlin really makes this page.
Sean: How’d he know my mom fucks chickens?
Warlord of Oz #3
Written by Jeff Massey | Art by Miguel Mendonca
Dave: Instead of a mace maybe just hit him with a rolled up newspaper?
Dog: That’s some nice art for a BDSM instructional guide.
Sean: You guys, this was legit my wet dream last week.
Dog: Sopping wet, it would seem.
East of West #14
Written Jonathan Hickman
Dave: “Dude, you really need to get that growth looked at. I mean, it’s standing and carrying you around and everything!”
Sean: That cancer’s super metal.
Dog: Is he tongue-goosing his own mom?
Fatale #24
Art by Sean Phillips
Dave: Larry was forever known as Lasagna-face Larry. Susy went by Flat-chest Suz but that never did stick.
Dog: I don’t know why everyone wanted an R-rated Blues Brothers movie.
Sean: “I meant put her in the back of the truck! Ewwwww!”
Prophet #45
Written by Simon Roy | Art by Giannis Milonogiannis
Dog: At least it didn’t come out the other end.
Dave: Pepto Bismol baby is a common side effect of too much Pepto Bismol. FACT!
Sean: He totes neo-chunked.
Dog: “I’m fisting a Chinese giant salamander; couldn’t be better!”
Dave: ‘Blort’ is not a real noise. I’ve puked 15 times in the last three days to check. Yeah, that’s right, I ate a bag of potato chips before each “check.” What’s it to you?
Patrick: This is not an appropriate forum to admit to your crippling case of manorexia, Dave.
Day Men #4
Written by Matt Gagnon, Michael Alan Nelson | Art by Brian Stelfreeze
Dave: Bloodboarding was Dick Cheney’s first choice of torture but he didn’t want anyone to figure out his vampire backstory.
Dog: That’s vilely unsanitary. Smoking in the torture room?
Sean: “Oh, it’s getting kind of messy in here. Go waterboard him a bit, maybe bleach board him after.”
The Mice Templar IV: Legend #12
Written by Bryan JL Glass | Art by Victor Santos | Colors by Serena Guerra
Dave: ♪ Cat scratch fever!♫
Dog: It’s a catnip-fueled berserker rage!
Evil Empire #3
Written by Max Bemis | Art by Ransom Getty
Dave: And they said the nickname “4 inch thick bullet tosser” was over the top!
Dog: Why are we seeing the muzzle flash through his head hole? Was the bullet faster than light?
Join the AIPT Patreon
Want to take our relationship to the next level? Become a patron today to gain access to exclusive perks, such as:
- ❌ Remove all ads on the website
- 💬 Join our Discord community, where we chat about the latest news and releases from everything we cover on AIPT
- 📗 Access to our monthly book club
- 📦 Get a physical trade paperback shipped to you every month
- 💥 And more!