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Panels in Poor Taste: 8/8/14 – Bubble Baths and Amputees

Tech Jacket #2

Written by Joe Keatinge | Art by Khary Randolph

Dave: Martian kisses are said to be much deeper, but they didn’t say just how deep!

Dog: An insectoid alien with a projectile, tooth-filled vagina. Did Freud write the screenplay for Starship Troopers 3?

Jordan: I think this guy was completely made of blood. There is no bones, skin, or organ matter anywhere here.

Goddess Inc. #1

Written by LaToya Morgan | Art by Manuel Preitano

Dave: She is going to be one sticky chick if she doesn’t wash dem bubbles off.

Jordan: I think she took a bath in either whipped cream or mayonnaise. Hard to say.

Dog: That first line is code for “he couldn’t find the g(od)-spot.”

Robocop #2

Written by Joshua Williamson | Art by Carlos Magno

Dave: Blood Crotch, Krak Neck and Thuk Face all wondered why their oracle mother named them the way she did. Now they know. The b---h.

Jordan: I’m just curious and I want to make sure I steal the right bikes. It’d be completely rude if I stole the wrong hogs, you understand.

Dog: All this over hogs? It’s like Sons of Anarchy meets Amish Mafia.

Nailbiter #4

Written by John Layman | Art by Rob Guillory

Dog: “They told you to keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times!”

Dave: Carol is not here right now, but if you’d like to leave a message with Stumpy McGee he’s all ears. He still has those.

Jordan: Sir, that clearly does not look like Carol. Did you forget to wear your glasses again?

Hack/Slash: Son of Samhain #2

Written Michael Moreci | Drawn by Emilio Laiso

Dave: What did we say about playing with your food at the table?!

Dog: He’s a f-----g giant, gnashing tooth monster, Dave! Be glad he daintily sliced the guy in two instead of just swallowing him whole.

Spread #2

Written by Justin Jordan | Art by Kyle Strahm

Dave: Blood streamers are the best!

Jordan: Talk about power behind that beheading. He completely destroyed the chin and all of the neck in a single blow.

Dog: You know what I was saying just the other day? Comics need a hipster, woodsman vigilante character.

Clone #9

Written by David Schulner | Art by Juan Jose Ryp

Dave: The dreaded urine slap is the worst slap of them all.

Jordan: Man, she slapped the lemonade right out of that guy.

Dog: I think “splash” is the more appropriate sound here.

Cyberforce #10

Written by Marc Silvestri | Art by Marco Turini

Dave: Those intestines must snag all the time.

Jordan: Yeah! It’s so awful to pick on this KISS fangirl who is missing her legs! Totally rude and classic a-----e behavior.

Dog: My Thundercats Halloween piñata arrived! By air mail!

Ghost Rider #5

Written by and Drawn by Tradd Moore

Dave: I take it back. I don’t want half.

Jordan: So where exactly is this guy standing when he does this?

Dog: I think his legs are being sucked into a dimension filled with raspberry preserves.


Written by Robert Kirkman | Art by Ryan Ottley

Dave: Cheez Wiz man should have stayed home and made those nachos.

Jordan: That guy sure bleeds a lot of orange juice.

Dog: Not my limited edition spray tan Skeletor!

Swamp Thing #34

Written by Charles Soule | Art by Javier Pina

Jordan: Oh no! Look what the awful tumor monster did those people!

Dave: Looks like my fecal exam grew legs and killed the entire hospital staff again. Ugh, now where will I go to get my DooDoo Test?!

Dog: He’s got a huge sack to do all that damage. Seriously, look at it; it’s the size of gym class volleyball bag.

Hinterkind #10

Written by Ian Edginton | Art by Francesco Trifogli

Dog: “I said no parties while your mother and I were on the Cape!”

Jordan: Huh. Who knew smashing a guy’s head against a wall until it explodes made no sound?

Dave: I love playing pin the head on the donkey.


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