Written and Drawn by Scottie Young
Dave: “Sometimes a vicious hug is more love than someone can take!” – Mike Huckabee
Dog: Referee oughta check to make sure that’s not a choke. Oh, and then take a look at that gushing chest wound.
Man vs. Rock: Finally! Irrefutable proof that stem cell research will lead to the downfall of society.
I Hate Fairyland #1
Written and Drawn by Scottie Young
Dave: Definitely not made of cheese.
Patrick H.: Oh man, remember MadBalls? No? Just me? #oldashell
Man vs. Rock: Obama’s sending drones after the moon now? Trump was right!
Lisa: Ooh the best part is the soft, sour middle.
Dave: S’mores are different in Denmark.
Man vs. Rock: Foreplay is much different on Fairlyland than America … unless you’re in Texas …
Dog: I have the odd desire to calculate how much force the puke must be exerting to lift her off the ground like that. Probably not the reaction the artist intended.
Lisa: Was that fire made of jelly beans?
Crossed: Badlands #87
Written by Max Bemis | Art by Fernando Melek
Dave: I want to know what his sign for cunnulingus is now. #childrenarecute #tonguemomtonight
Man vs. Rock: And that little boy grew up to be … Elizabeth Warren! #andnowyouknowtherestofthestory
Lisa: This is not what Clancy’s parents expected when they decided to teach him sign language.
Dog: Whenever you’re feeling down about your job, it might help to remember that Fernando Melek once spent an idea day drawing an inbred ginger miming sex acts on his mother. Perspective.
The Goon in Theatre Bizarre
Written and Art by Eric Powell
Dave: I find it refreshing the Queen of Cooch is inaugurated by the King of Cock.
Lisa: Wow! That’s one transformative bikini.
Patrick H.: Where is this show?! You know how much I have to pay to get stepped on by the Lady Devil in Boston?
Man vs. Rock: Once Sesame Street switched to HBO, it was never the same …
Swords of Sorrow #6
Written by Gail Simone | Art by Sergio Dávila
Dave: Little did the bikini wearing heroine know that her opponent’s intestines were so close to the surface of his skin he was dead anyway.
Lisa: Sweet cheek gauges.
Patrick H.: Somewhere in Malaysia, a sweatshop is churning out the matched bikini/thigh high boot/death claw glove ensemble for cents on the dollar.
Man vs. Rock: At least it’s not Supergirl …
Grimm Fairy Tales #115
Written by Pat ShandMarc Rosete, colored by Erick Arciniega | Art by Brian K. Vaughan
Dave: This panel would have a way different meaning if that purple stuff was red.
Lisa: Welch’s new cauterizing jelly.
Patrick H.: In movies, when someone loses a hand, they do that awkward LONG WRIST thing. Someone tell the artist that’s not necessary when it’s drawn?
Dog: Looks like he’s uprooting a tree stump.
Harrow County #6
Written by Cullen Bunn | Art by Tyler Crook
Dave: I want to say I haven’t seen such a bad poison ivy case as this before, but then there was always that horrible day at Camp Coitus.
Lisa: One look and Celia knew oral was off the table tonight.
Patrick H.: See kids? Pot DOES kill!
Man vs. Rock: Rodney learned early that puberty affects every boy a little bit differently.
Star Trek/Green Lantern: The Spectrum War #2
Written by Mike Johnson | Art by Angel Hernandez
Dave: True, Cynthia promised she wouldn’t break Rodney’s heart, but she certainly ripped it out. Semantics I guess.
Man vs. Rock: As an Astros fan, I can empathize with Green Lantern here … 🙁
Dog: Oh, I didn’t know they were adding Star Trek to Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe. Can’t wait to take out Kano with the Vulcan Nerve Pinch.
Sleepy Hollow: Providence #3 (of 4)
Written by Eric Carrasco | Art by Victor Santos
Dave: Of all the times a gurgle was called for we don’t get one. #thegreatgurglerobbery2015
Patrick H.: Where’s your Rumspringa now? #amishjokes #theywontreadthis
Dog: Why is everyone so nonplussed by grievous bodily harm this week? If I were run through or had a limb blasted off, I’m pretty sure I’d conjure some more colorful words than “oh.”
Man vs. Rock: Brave: the Director’s Cut didn’t fare as well as the genius creative execs hoped.
Lisa: Patrick, she just got back from Rumspringa, didn’t you see the steel toe boots?
East of West #21
Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Nick Dragotta
Dave: Piñatas are different in Denmark.
Patrick H.: DIBS ON THE WISHBONE!
Man vs. Rock: I give young Grover a B- for the disemboweling, but an A for presentation.
Dog: Oh man, my girlfriend and I were going to be Aghast Burlesque Dancer and Zombie Reagan for Halloween! Now we have to start all over!